


Episode IX: Two Suns Rising

by Moshmellowraccoon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: A little bit dark, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awkward First Times, Big battle scenes, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Hux Has No Chill, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Redemption, Lots of obscure references, M/M, Plot Twists, Poe redemption, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey doesn't know how to feel, Rey saves the day, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, The Force, poe has a crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:52:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13202202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moshmellowraccoon/pseuds/Moshmellowraccoon
Summary: Months after the battle on Crait, the Resistance army is growing under the ever strong leadership of Leia Organa. To bide time while they continue to rebuild their forces, Poe Dameron makes plans to attack the First Order. The First Order is dealing with the loss of Snoke and his directions. Kylo Ren struggles to gain control of their ranks and assert himself as Supreme Leader.





	1. An Eye For A Squadron

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a long one sorry!
> 
> 10 chapters unless I decide to split a chapter.
> 
> It's been about 6 years since I've written anything creative and I was really shy about posting this but it's been doing wonders for my happiness so I hope you all get something out of it :)
> 
> Feel free to drop creative criticisms. Sorry if there's a while between chapter updates, I'm meant to be writing my honours dissertation at the moment -hides under lab desk from supervisor to passionately write Star Wars fanfic-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr if you'd like: MoshmellowRaccoon

They stood, mid conversation, side by side on the bridge of the star destroyer. Kylo Ren gripped the banister tightly, curled over himself. His normally emotive eyes were concealed from the crews view as he looked towards the floor beneath his feet. General Armitage Hux stood more formally, hands clasped, shoulders back, in his perfectly pressed standard issue uniform, surveying the staff sitting at their various stations.

“I don’t care what you say General,” Kylo hissed, tendrils of dark hair casting shadows over his hollow eyes, ”Go after them!” He threw himself back to stand tall over the insubordinant general, holding for a short moment to glare daggers at the smaller man before he swung around quickly to stalk towards the door. It was finally time to get ready for battle. He found himself podering the situation while walking swiftly towards his quarters. 

It had taken months, the Resistance had been careful, but they had finally done it. Hux’s informants had told them the location of a new resistance base on an outer rim planet. The enemies fighters were fuelling up to leave again, probably on another mission to gather what little allies still existed. Kylo subconsciously gripped his lightsaber tightly, the leather of his black gloves dulling the glorious singing of sensation that his skin elicted when he knew he was about to strike someone down with it. He refused to let the Resistance get away again. It was time for him to prevail where his grandfather had failed. He wouldn’t let HER get away again. Not after how she had deserted him, betrayed his trust and made a fool of him for laying himself bare infront of her. He had to cut them off at the source, stop the spread. Insolence like theirs couldn’t continue to exist as a corrupting influence in his galaxy. They were the sole providers of injustice in his life, the collection of people who had rejected him, tried to kill him or sent him off for slaughter before he should have been able to defend himself. Not to mention his MOTHER. She was meant to be his family. He was meant to be his father. but they never acted like it. They were always too consumed in their own plights to be there for him, and when he needed them the most they would push him away. Oh how the tables had turned. He was now Supreme Leader Kylo Ren! He would strike down all who had wronged him! As he entered his quarters to dress in his less restrictive battle robes, he felt a small tingle blooming over his skin, warm and electric, excitement.

\----

Rey wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead that were threatening to drip into her eyes as she felt the quick bite of frustration. Now wasn't the time for distractions! Quickly flicking another glance at the Jedi manuscripts laid open on the floor of her room aboard the Millennium Falcon, she took a deep breath and fought back her urges to slam her fists into the nearest object or force throw the darn sabre across the room. Being frustrated was not going to solve this problem. The distinct growl of Chewbacca rang forth from the cockpit informing her they were close to their destination. “Damnit!” she lept up, sabre in hand. She looked back at the texts briefly, for reassurance, then attempted to ignite the blade. A buzzing emanated from the hilt before it grew uncomfortably warm at a rapid pace, causing her to instinctually drop it. Blue sparks shoot from it in quick succession, bounding around the room and off objects, charring the Falcons walls before eventually fizzling out. Cowering behind her arms to avoid injury, she reached out with the force to pull at the intricate mechanisms of the sabre, disabling it. The buzzing noise suddenly dissipated.  
“DAMNIT!” She screamed, the frustration overcoming her resolve as she stomped her foot defiantly against the hull of the Falcon. Chewie hollered from the cockpit, protesting his singed fur. 

She had been trying for months to decipher the Jedi text and fix her sabre, but to no avail. She couldn’t make sense of more than brief fragments of the passages, despite her linguistic and mechanical skills. The words just didn’t seem to go together in a way that made logical sense. If they did, their meaning was no clearer to her than the meaning behind what she saw in the mirror that day in the darkness of Ach-Too. She groaned as she once again wiped sweat from her brow, preparing to try again. Her mind began to chastise her efforts with an onslaught of defeat. After all, with no one to teach her and no guidance, it was an almost futile exercise. Her shoulders slumped forwards as once again she felt the pang of loneliness and regret that accompanied her thoughts of Luke and Kylo, those that had the opportunity to guide and teach her. She longed to be able to just speak to one of them again, for even a moment… She only wanted to ask them what she was meant to do.

The ship shuddered as it exited light speed, causing her stomach to involuntarily drop. They’d arrived. She felt the colour drain from her face as she realised she’d be going into battle without her sabre. Without anyone else to help save the day, against Kylo Ren and the First Order none the less with an army at least eight times the size of theirs. Not to mention it's likely they would be especially pissed off at her, under Kylos orders. She had rejected Kylo and thwarted their efforts to destroy the last of the resistance after all. She quickly grabbed her staff, made sure her blaster was still sheathed at her side, absentmindedly thumbing the holster for a moment as her heart panged. What would Han do? She pondered as she stood to watch their decent towards the jungle covered planet through the cockpit window. The blanket of green stretching from edge to edge of her view seemed almost comforting and soft. Nothing like what was about to happen down there… She nervously pulled the stray hairs from her face and fixed them back into her buns and she tried to steel herself for battle.

Poe Dameron stood in a small clearing alongside Leia Organa as the Falcon landed. Leia looked regal and in charge as ever, despite wearing simple battle ready shirt and pants, her blaster at her side. Poe stood more casually, dressed in his pilot attire, helmet under his arm. His face looked just as nervous as Rey felt. Leia and Poe took turns dictating orders to the small groups of troops around them. Everyone nodded occasionally as they spoke, responding with a “Roger!” Whenever appropriate. Rey hurried off the Falcon to join the closest group. She didn’t focus much on what Poe was saying, she already knew what she was meant to do after a brief holo-meeting at the beginning of her flight. Instead she tried to push the ever-growing fear from her mind and replace it with the steady tones of her commanders voices and the cackeling of the native fauna in the nearby trees. 

How was Kylo going to react? She couldn’t be entirely sure, although she knew it was likely he'd be furious still, she couldn't help but hope a little that he would come alone. She hadn’t felt his presence or their connection through the force since that brief glimpse on Crait. Surely he’d still be angry at her for rejecting him, blowing him up, running, running again. A small part of her craved a reality where she could still contact him, the shimmering pearl of hope living inside her that he would come to his senses and return to the light sung with happiness whenever she thought of him. She wished for any way to be able to speak to him again. To help him realise where he truly belonged. To be able to ask him anything she needed, being he was the only other person alive who was learned in the force enough to rival Luke as her potential mentor.

The familiar thud of a star destroyer exiting light speed resonated deep throughout the area, elicting a resonating thud of dissapointment slamming Rey in the chest. A brief moment of silence followed as the jungle life and Resistance soldiers listened in fear, staring up at the sky. “They’re here.” Stated Leia. Poe nodded, both were still scanning the hazy sky for any glint or flash of ships descending. Poe turned back to face the group, face crinkled with worry.  
“Right, we all know what we have to do. Let’s not make this easy for them. I doubt they have brought their whole forces, but they will still outnumber us as least three to one. Make every shot... every life... count.” a mix of excitement and dread in Poes’ voice. Leias wise face turned away from the sky and almost smiled at Poe before looking back to the gathered forces and speaking with the sincerity that held her this position for so long. “May the force be with you.” The grouping disbanded as the forces ran quickly towards their various assignments. Leia rushed aboard the Falcon as Poe jumped into his X-wing. In a short moment the entire x wing squadron, or what was left of it, took off from the ground with the Falcon soaring off in the opposite direction.

Rey stood, shrouded by a whirlwind of dust, alone and still in the clearing as the roar of the engines and flurry of movement quickly dissipated. A surreal moment of quiet settled over her as the soil settled back to its resting place. She closed her eyes, breathing in the sweet, sticky air of the planet and began to focus her energy. She had to be quick in making her presence known otherwise the pilots didn’t stand much of a chance up there. She nudged that worry aside and attempted to focus again on Lukes’ teachings. She imagined every thought, emotion and image pour out of her mind like liquid spilling out her fingertips towards the ground. Once she emptied her mind, she let everything around her in. The energy of the jungle planet washed over her like a refreshingly cold spray of water, crashing against her mind and filling it with noise once again. She forced herself not to struggle against it or become too focused on any aspect, but instead welcomed the balance between light and darkness that was nature. Reaching further with her mind, she sought out what she must find. 

Eventually she felt it. A large pocket of swirling darkness, several corrupt minds, full of anger, fury, jealousy, guilt, purposelessness, confusion. She had found the destroyer. With all her might she projected a single thought towards it: I’m here! Opening her eyes, she saw the small pebbles, sticks, and decaying leaves floating around her suddenly drop to the ground, along with her strength. That took more out of her than she thought it would, which was odd considering the past feats she had acieved. But then, she realised, she didn’t really know her own limits yet. As her eyes turned towards the marbled pinks and blues of the gently sashaying clouds in the sky, she just hoped it had worked.

\---

“She’s down there! I can feel her.” Kylo insisted, one hand gesturing furiously as his other gripped his lightsabre hilt, itching to light it. Hux’s intel had been correct and he felt a certain smugness that had been emanating from the General suddenly turn to coldness. “Perhaps she is.” He stated. “But at this rate we will cut through what’s remaining of their fighter pilots and leave them effectively defenceless.” Hux’s smugness returned tenfold.  
“I don’t CARE!” Bellowed Kylo, slamming his fist against a control desk, “None of it matters if she gets away! None of our fighters, none of our ships are fast enough to chase or track down a rouge Jedi and the Millennium Falcon through the entire galaxy if they get away!”

Hux glared at the Supreme Leader, the kind of look one gives to someone utterly pitiful and disgusting, “But it is not the best course of winning this war. Alone she is nothing. She cannot rebuild the resistance without what’s left of them. We must act now to crush…” Hux gasped suddenly, small flecks of saliva escaped his mouth, onto his chin, his eyes widening in pain. Kylos fingers twitched ever so slightly again and the grip tightened. “Are you ready to obey my orders yet General?” the Supreme Commander watched, almost too calmly, his expression blank and an edge of satisfaction in his voice. A broken “Yes” creaked out of the blue tinged generals mouth before he collapsed to the floor breathing as deep as his rapidly bruising throat would allow, as if he’d almost drowned. “Now…” Said Kylo with the eerie calm still in his voice, “Take us down there.” He turned dramatically, black cloak billowing out behind him as he stalked from the bridge towards the hangar, reading to disembark. Hux picked himself up quickly, straightened his uniform and scurried off behind him, shouting commands at passing Stormtroopers and administrative staff as he went.

The hangar clammered with energy and noise. Kylo, Hux and a small team of pilots, navigators and guards boarded his shuttle as squadrons of stormtroopers boarded their transports. Four larger transports were loading AT AT and various high-tech weapons for the shuttle guards. Kylo revelled in the sight, a swirling metallic ocean of grey, black and white. He knew this would be the end of them. The Resistance scum would finally succumb to the dark side or die. Hot coals of rage burned inside him. Oh how he looked forward to finally finishing the battle that had consumed him mentally for almost a decade. He was soon to become the most powerful and successful leader in the galaxy, succeeding where others had failed. He would finally be able to implement control and start fixing the damage dealt by countless inept leaders and governments that had come before him. It ought to stop people constantly looking at him with pity or disgust. He would avenge his betrayals and failures today and finally destroy all those still alive that had hurt him. 

Hux on the other hand, looked quiet, contemplating with a tiny ebb of fear shown only by his hands clasped behind his back, absentmindedly picking at his fingernails. Kylo felt a wave of disgust that he didn't hide from reacing his face. He didn’t understand why the general didn’t share his excitement at the scene. As the final troops loaded onto their transports, the full ships began filing out of the hanger, hurtling towards the planet’s surface.

The decent was so quick that Kylo didn’t have time to give orders to his squadrons. He wasn’t concerned as he was too distracted by the sight of his ships burning through the atmosphere, death raining fire from above, he mused. A second distraction caught his eye, a small form he saw standing in a clearing just south of where his ships touched down causing his stomach to churn with anticipation. He would finally face her off once again! He couldn't contain his excitement any longer and be began rocking back and forth on his heels, one hand ever present on his lightsaber. 

The four AT AT’s were deployed rapidly, standing menacingly at their full height in the tree canopy as his troopers streamed out of their transports into the dense carpet of ferns. “Move south, towards that clearing. Do not engage anyone until I say.” Kylo demanded. Hux shot him a sideways sceptical glance before announcing the orders to respective teams. The flow of white troopers almost looked like an avalanche moving steadily across the jungle, bringing a predatory smile to Kylos lips. The shuttle and AT AT’s had more difficulty moving through such a terrain. Branches and leaves smacking against windshields, screeching down the sides of cockpits. As the shuttle finally broke through the grasping fingers of the jungle into the clearing, Kylo felt the air leave his chest. Staring straight at the mysterious person at the other edge of the clearing, all rational thought suddenly drained felt beyond his minds grasp.

She stood alone and fierce, like a mountain on a plane. Garbed in her usual scavenger, battle ready attire. Her staff in her hands and hair pulled back. He noted that she didn’t look like she was about to attack. Or that there was anyone with her. He didn't bother to check. He was too awestruck by her posture. She looked somewhat… relaxed? Surely she wasn’t stupid enough to think she could face down such a force alone. Or perhaps… A deep desire awoke in Kylo. He shifted uncomfortably as his emotions ran hot through him. Perhaps she had rethought his offer. The previously predatory smile gave way to a small curl at the corner of his lips, emotions turning haphazardly through his system. He stared past his long dark hair, through the cockpit and straight into her shining hazel eyes. “Don’t shoot!” He barked, his body humming with need to be near her. As the words left his mouth she turned and ran, jungle effortlessly swallowing her figure from his gaze.

“AFTER HER!” He yelled, slamming his first into the seat in front of him, fury rapidly replacing desire. She was running again! The troops burst forwards, lashing against the jungle until it yielded and they flowed in. The larger AT AT’s and shuttle followed in the paths left by the streams of troopers. The sound of branches breaking, metal scraping against wood and thousands of marching feet almost masked the sounds of the first blasters firing. Kylo and Hux both snapped to attention, urgently scanning the view out the cockpit window for the location of fire. Several more shots rung out followed by stormtroopers begining to falling to the ground with smoking wounds. What was happening? The burning rage inside Kylo flamed to an uncontrollable level, consuming every rational thought and replacing it with a desperate urge to destroy everything around him. For a brief moment, he decided he had to channel it. How though, he wasn't sure. He froze in place.

Blaster fire was hailing in upon his troops from everywhere. They were surrounded. But not a single enemy was visible. “WELL?” Screamed Hux in frustration. “Fire outwards, in all directions!” Commanded Kylo, the general mimicking his words to the respective troop commanders. The jungle lit up, a blinding display of colour reflecting off the blanket of snowy white uniforms. A cacophony of noise adding to the confusion. Troopers continued to fall but neither he nor Hux could confirm a single hit on any of the enemy, let alone who they were or how many of them there are.

“Shouldn’t we force forward and try to break their circle?” Hux asked, watching the Supreme Leader for an answer. Kylo had no answer. His mind was still consumed by anger, he desperately needed to be out there. The weight of his lightsabre pressed insistently against his hip.

A transmission from the star destroyer interrupted, “Supreme leader, this is star destroyer command.” The voice shook over the holo transmission followed by the sound of an explosion, “We’re taking heavy fire. It seems their ally ships have joined the battle.” Kylo remained motionless, seemingly not having heard the transmission. Hux’s stomach sank as he knew it was already halfway over. The ground he’d painstakingly secured against the Resistance in previous battles was slowly being washed away as the tides turned.

\---

Poe beamed as the transmission came in “The plan is working!” gushed Rey, her excitement obvious despite the crackling of the audio though his headset. “Well I’m glad, being it was my plan and all” Poe playfully taunted. The enemy pilots hadn’t given up despite their heavy losses and the reinforcement of the new rebel command ship arriving. He’d made sure his pilots knew to stay wide of the destroyer and watch each others six. A TIE fighter screamed into position on his tail.

“BB 8, divert all power to the left thruster!” BB 8 beeped once before the x wing flung sideways, shoving Poe against his seat harness with force enough to wind him. He let off two shots in quick succession as the ship swung round, directly hitting the fighter sending it hurtling towards the planet. BB 8 beeped again as the ship resumed a straight trajectory. They couldn’t throw these old birds around too much he mused, fighting back his bodies reaction to being flung about with such force.

Circling around, he resumed stalking the carefully researched perimeter he laid out for the battle, picking off stray fighters and keeping an eye out for any pilots in trouble but the fight was mostly over. This wasn’t an assault, he reminded himself, glancing at the gleaming hunk of metal that tantalized and begged to be torn from space He shook his head, visor clattering in his helmet, hoping the motion would help him resist the temptation to take out the destroyer. This was a ‘hold back the tide’ mission. They had to provide enough distraction and cover to prevent enemy air forces firing on their ground forces. He chuckled fondly at the memory of Leia laughing at the absurdity of he, Poe Dameron, proposing a plan to prevent any casualties and actively avoiding a shot at taking out a star destroyer.

The plan would work though. He’d chosen this planet specifically for it’s jungle, the perfect place for a trap. He planted groups of troops in a radius around a path he’d mapped out for Rey to run through. She was his bait. He knew from previous encounters that Kylo Ren’s rage would force him to chase after a fight with her. He felt smug satisfaction at enacting revenge against the mop-topped force wielder for the long scar left down Finns back.

The dense jungle allowed perfect cover for his small group of camouflaged troops to strike the standout gleamingly reflective forces before they realised where the fire was coming from. Finn lead the ground forces. Poe knew he was the best man for the job and could quickly counter any manoeuvres the enemy might try. Leia had returned to their command ship on the Falcon to bring it into battle after the trap on the ground was sprung. They were ensuring no enemy air forces were free to reinforce those on the ground, not that they could easily manoeuvre through the jungle. He also knew the enemy wouldn’t risk firing the Star destroyers weapons towards the ground forces with the treetop cover lest it hit their Supreme Commander. All in all a good plan, he congratulated himself. The hardest part had been convincing a natives of the planet to play informant to the First Order, feeding them the false intel. He knew Leia would be pleased with the outcome of it all and forgive him for his shortcomings on the last command ship. His stomach sank a little as he remembered talking with Rose about her sister. The one Poe got killed…

He shook his head again, to clear the thoughts, then spun back around in a casual arc and resumed another run, taking out two more TIE fighters in his wake.

\---

Hux watched the remainder of the battle unfold, entire squadrons shot down by unseen enemies, his proud forces melting to the ground. Glimpses of TIE fighters cascading through the atmosphere like a meteor shower as they crash landed, burning holes through the treetop. They were overrun. He knew this would happen. He was furious, but he had prepared for failure, as any good war tactician does. Right now as the air filled with smoke, a group of three of his most trusted troops dressed in the garments of the native villagers were slipping unseen into a safe position. They had orders to join the resistance as the fighting died down, claiming to be inspired by the fierce battle. They were to do anything the Resistance asked of them, gain their confidence and report everything back exclusively to Hux on their encoded transmitters. He knew it wouldn’t be long before Kylo began planning to remove him from the equation and this was not only his contribution to winning this war, his war, but an assurance on his own life.

The screech of metal against metal drew Hux and Kylos attention. Two of their four guard AT AT’s were collapsing against each other, having sustained critical damage to their systems. A fireball burst from their imploding frames, swirling upward, showering burning leaves and hot ash through the air in stark contrast to the green of the treetops. The cockpit of their third AT AT suddenly exploded into flames which dissipated as fast as they appeared. It’s legs bowed, charred remains of the pilot fell forward and became impaled on a remaining shard of cockpit glass, arms left swaying in sync with the motion of the falling colossal mechanism and the movement of the trees in the gentle wind. Resistance blaster fire concentrated on the remaining guard AT AT and against their shuttle deflector shield. It wouldn’t hold much longer.

“Get us out of here! Now!” Roared Kylo, his face suddenly flashing to life with fury and frustration like lightning across pale sky. As thoughts of defeat soured Kylos insatiable rage, his mind scrambled for ideas. Over and over he fixated on the image of himself out on the battlefield, but Hux had coached him that this was his position now, commanding from the cockpit. He could hardly direct the First Orders army while swinging a lightsabre, Hux had said. Kylo knew the battle would have gone much differently if he had only followed his instinct and left the shuttle to fight.

The command shuttle was quiet save for the steady drumming of blasters and cannons off their weakening deflector shield. They spun around as they ascended, tearing through the jungle canopy, and rapidly exited the atmosphere. As the haze of the sky was replaced by the blackness of the galaxy, they were met with the sight of a large rebel ship exchanging fire with their star destroyer. Dotted around the ship were a squadron of x wings, half the size of their original TIE fighter forces, yet they had managed to dissipate most of the Orders fighters. A few stray shots rang off the deflector shields as they approached the destroyer hanger, but none enough to damage the small ship. The Resistance fire was still focused on the remaining TIE fighters and they seemed to be sticking to a wide perimeter.

As soon as the hanger doors closed a sense of safety washed over the crew. Standard chatter of the routines for docking and evacuation restarted as they exited the shuttle, once again exchanging orders over transmitters with remaining ground forces. Hux remained statuesque, continuing his silence until last crew member was gone, leaving him alone with the Supreme Commander.

“How could you let this happen again?” Hux said, accusation obvious in his tone, yet he dared not look his Supreme Commander in the eyes.  
“What did you just say to me?” Growled Kylo, his first thoughts of the insubordination Hux was displaying. He thought Hux had been in the First Order long enough to know better than to speak to his Supreme Commander in such a way.  
“I mean... Supreme Commander, twice now we have had to watch as the rebels get away. Could you not, perhaps, see the usefulness in listening to the recommendations of those more… experienced in this area of war?” He asked, hesitation in his voice but an unflinching challenge in his eyes as they reached up to finally meet Kylos.  
The insolence! Kylo’s anger took over. The rage at Hux’s challenge. The rage at Rey’s escape, yet again! At her ongoing rejection. He was deafened to Hux’s continuing speech. Kylo was sick of being berated and attacked by those who deemed themselves superior to him in some way. He would not put up with it any longer. He was finally in charge, he would not let it slip away. It was time to finally make an example of the fiery General. 

Kylos fingers twitched ever so slightly. Hux’s face instantly clouded with discomfort. Kylo would drag him kicking and screaming before their gathered forces to show them what happens to anyone who questioned their Supreme Leader. Hux began to cough but continued to talk. “But, it wasn’t a” He choked briefly, face reddening, back arching “…a complete failure.”  
“What?” Kylo was taken aback.  
“Spy…” Hux gasped out. Kylo relaxed his assault slightly to allow him to speak. “We have a spy in their ranks. As soon as they report to me on their encoded transmitters, I will know where their real base is.” Kylo released his grasp, Hux falling to the floor with a satisfying thud.


	2. Wishful Drinking

The Resistance had wasted no time in flying back to their makeshift base on Jakku, leaving as soon as the First Order ships had made their hyperspace jumps to escape. Rey and Chewie had been some of the first to make it back, with the Falcon and all, so they stood near the opening of the hangar. They watched quietly as ship after ship descended towards the hangar in a procession of battle scarred metal and dazed pilots. For a small moment, Rey almost forgot the war that had been raging around them as her soul soared at the sight of the ships over the sand dunes, knowing she was finally on Jakku on her own terms. She could be free of this place again at any moment. It was no longer her prision like it had been for soo long. Soon she would be able to leave again and never look back, a thought that made her heart leap with anticipation. The x wing squadron were the final ships to fly in to land. The harsh sunlight and reflective sand casting a shimmering glow over the tired hulls, paint slowly flaking off. Worry began to creep back, as Reys stomach churned. She closed her eyes, using the force to guide her as she walked towards the back of the room. Just incase she needed a quick escape from the crowd, she thought, taking a deep breath of dry air hoping it would help settle her nerves. It didn’t and the tidal churning of her stomach continued. She wished she knew how to control her emotions better… A cheering erupted from the converging crowd as the handful ground forces, pilots and commanding team disembarked their transports, breaking her from her thoughts.

Poe jumped out of his cockpit, face plastered with a grin bigger than Rey had ever seen him wear before. Clapping and whistling mixed into the cheer which gained new fervour as Poe removed his helmet. His warm brown eyes settling instantly on Rey across the hangar. Rey felt Leia as she slowly moved silently to her side at the back of the room. The group of resistance fighters surrounded Poe, all shaking hands, patting one another’s backs, hugging. Finn grabbed Poe in a headlock and ruffled his hair affectionately, laughing, before letting it go and pulling him into a warm and lingering hug. Poe smiled through the hug as he felt the warmth of Finn seeping deep into his core. Elation tore through him as he looked around, realising every single Resistance fighter made it back to base. Poes’ smile increased tenfold until he was all tooth and no cheek, as he turned to face Leia and Rey. Leia gave him a small nod, a gentle smile on her face and warm glow to her eyes before she walked away. Poe knew what this meant, he was forgiven. The surge of relief filling him almost made his weary legs give out, but he couldn't give in yet! Celebrations were to be had. Leia spoke gently to Rey, however, she didn’t quite catch it all as she couldn’t tear her eyes from the scene before her. Snippets of the words went something along the lines of this was Poes victory to celebrate and Leia couldn’t be prouder. She was too old to be celebrating with this level of excitement anyway. As Leia and Chewy (apparently also too old, as he stated by his mournful sounding growl) left Reys’ side, her brooding worry strengthened.

Rey didn’t look amused or happy. Her gaze seemed distant. Poe broke through the crowd and half jogged over to her. “Rey?” He asked, reaching out to gently touch her wrist, hoping to get her attention. She snapped out of her thoughts and smiled warmly at Poe. Although his heart skipped a beat to see her smile so at him, he was still concerned. “Are you ok? I’m sure Finn and Rose would love you to join in the celebrations.” So would he, he thought.  
“I’m alright,” She said, staring off into the distance. Exhaustion was evident in her voice and the weary look on her face as she spoke. She must have been staying up with her books too late again. “Maybe you should skip this one,” Poe said with gentle concern, “You’ll be no fun if you pass out on a food hall table and we have to leave the party to take you to your room.” Rey gave a weak half smile at Poe’s easy-going humour, but her gaze still didn't meet his. She liked that about him. The whole galaxy could be on his shoulders and he’d still manage to calm everyone’s nerves with a quick joke. But he was right, she was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to participate in the revelries. “I guess…” she trailed off, looking over her shoulder at the red stone hallway that lead to her room. Poe knew she was too distracted for any more meaningful conversation, he felt disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to celebrate with her. Or rather, so he could spend the night pathetically looking at her face across the table and choking out some horrible joke every time he tried to speak to her. He grimaced at the thought of how useless at expressing his feelings he was, but reminded himself it was best she got some rest. He gave her wrist a gentle squeeze before letting it slip from his grasp, hesitantly turning to look at the beginnings of the party. Someone had broken out the barrels of alcohol already. His winning smile returned to his face immediately and he re-joined the huddle with ease.

Rey slipped away from the party unnanounced, wandering away from the hanger and down a hallway. She felt empty of purpousful direction and thought, like she was on auto-pilot. She didn’t even realise she’d made it back to her room and was standing in the middle of it like a statue until the light above her flickered, the red stone wall she was staring at turning black for a brief moment. She shook her head lightly, grabbed her chair then collapsed, exhausted, into it’s comforting yet supportive embrace. She hardly noticed the usually irritating smattering of sand that clung to her skin. One of the many reasons she hated being back on Jakku, despite it being her choice. Perhaps it was somewhat healing to her, choosing to be here, despite her hatred of the place, she pondered absentmindedly. When Leia had bought up the list of possible new encampments on the Millennium Faclon as they sped away from Crait, she had been the one suggesting Jakku. She figured Kylo would never think of her returning here and they’d be safe for long enough to start rebuilding. She was right too, they’d had a few months of peace, resupplying, rebuilding, gathering allies, entirely undisturbed by the First Order. She was especially thankful at the moment that the force bond seemed to have died with Snokes’ waning influence. This way he couldn’t use it to his advantage and find them. Part of her that had been aching since the day on Crait began throbbing more insistently, reminding her that it was there. With it came the conflicting thoughts of longing for the force bond. She still lay awake at night sleeping only in fitful bursts as her mind was filled with images of him, what he had taught her, how she couldn’t save him, how she wished soo desperately that she had and he was here with them now. She sighed loudly, sinking lower into her chair. She knew deep down though, that if the bond had persisted he would not have been so kind to her. Again she felt thankful, the rollercoaster of emotions leveling out with a mix of reluctant thankfulness and constant pangs of loneliness.

She hated that feeling, loneliness. It had followed her for all her life that she could remember, bar those few moments when the force bond opened and they talked. She still didn’t understand why she wished to have him around though. It went against all reason to think that he could be a comforting presence to her. Some of the last things he’d said to her were haunting her enough to remind her of his not so kind side. You’re nothing. She screwed her eyes shut, willing herself to ignore the thoughts. Tonight she didn’t have the energy, and by goodness they seemed like they were telling the truth. She’d been useless in the battle today. Well not entirely useless, she’d helped bait Poes’ trap perfectly, but after that, she was just another ground trooper. Her blaster fire had done nothing more or less than every other trooper on the ground. She made no difference. She didn’t save the day.

Suddenly feeling cold, she rolled on her side, brought her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself. It did nothing to help alleviate the cold, or the sinking feeling growing in her stomach. How was she meant to help the resistance, her friends, when she couldn’t even help in battle. She was useless without her sabre, the first thing she’d ever encountered in her life that she didn’t know how to fix. The iciness seemed to seep deeper into her body and she shivered. How was she meant to become the shining beacon of hope and strength the resistance needed her to be without the proper Jedi training. She’d been suffering never ending tension headaches from trying to decipher the ancient texts and still had nothing to show for it. She felt useless. Hopeless and useless.

\-----

“Supreme commander, it is the time to prepare for another strike. I implore you. The enemy is handicapped. Their Jedi weapon was nowhere to be seen, we can still assume she hasn’t repaired her sabre. As soon as the intel comes in we need to be ready to move in and attack. Before they have a chance to move again. Before they regain full power.” Hux was adamant, but Kylo still looked flatly out over the bridge. He seemed not to notice all eyes staring at him, eagerly awaiting a command. Any command. “I know you might worry it’s too soon since our last attempt, but I believe it’s best to strike while the knife is still in your back.” Hux pushed, a desperate attempt to control and direct Kylo’s emotional responses. He glanced around nervously at the lack of response and noticed other commanding officers and bridge personal were nodding in support or looking towards him for what he would say next. A he felt a small tingle of something unrecognisable in his chest and without thinking, opened his mouth to speak yet again “Supreme Commander, it’s just that… Whenever we went into battle with Supreme Commander Snoke, he always had a plan afterwards, regardless of the result of the skirmish.” More supportive head nods. 

Kylo didn’t notice Hux’s seemingly underhanded comments. Or anything he said really. The room was a tide of moving faces, none staying still long enough for Kylo to focus on them, so instead he stared into space. The motion of the small dots of light that were stars was much less abrasive on his aching eyes and mind. He couldn’t think straight either. He knew he should be angry at Hux. It was the General who’d demanded he remain at the command bridge in future battles when Kylo could have tipped the jungle battle in their favour if he’d been on the ground. Perhaps they wouldn’t have lost. Perhaps not, as the attack seemed like a planned trap. He really wasn’t sure, about anything. Other than how much his head hurt. He couldn’t keep standing here. He needed to lie down and think about what he would have the First Order do next. He stood from his black leather chair, his body protesting with renewed pangs of pain in his head. Kylo tried to show a commanding air as he left the bridge, walking down the hallway of the ship towards his room. He knew he didn’t pull it off though. Two stormtroopers watched him closely as he passed and he sensed he didn’t elicit the desired response of fear in them that he used to. His body weakened with the thought. He was losing control of the First Order.

He stumbled in the door to a room and the door wooshed shut behind him. His tall figure slumped against the wall, he was no longer able to stand under the weight of himself. The room was full of blinking lights and he couldn’t tell if they were really dancing before his eyes or it was an illusion.

Kylo’s mind was spinning worse than the one time he snuck into his parent’s special cupboard when he was ten and drank far too much of their alcohol. Wait, how come he hadn’t remembered this before? He’d cried thinking he was in trouble. He’d wanted to be just like them and had seen them take the drink from the small cream cupboard on special occasions, like when they were both home for once. Instead of being angry, Leia had given him an empathetic look as she held a cool wet cloth to his forehead. He lay in bed and she soothed him with gentle backrubs whenever he was sick into the bucket she’d brought to him. Han had been the one to carry him to bed after finding him in his hiding place in the yard, a small cavern inside a rock only just big enough to fit Ben. Han had squeezed an arm in to scoop him out and cut himself on a sharp point of rock in the process but didn’t tend to the deep graze on his arm until he knew Ben was safe and taken care of.

Kylo felt warmth spreading over his body. Not like the consuming fire of his anger, just a dull heat, pleasant and calming. He didn’t fully recognise the feeling, but guessed that it may be fondness or happiness or at least something similar. Thoughts Snoke always poisoned with whispers of doubt in his mind, but this time he wasn’t here to poison them. He felt the warmth, unhindered, for the first time since he was a young boy.

An image he wished he could erase from himself forever flashed before him. Han Solos eyes looking straight into his as they slowly drained of life, Kylos sabre through his stomach. The pleasant warmth was replaced instantly with a hot tingling and urges to scream, yell, punch, slash, destroy. Kylo didn’t fight these urges for even a moment.

His sabre jumped into his hand before he realised he’d called it. Unstable red blades hissed forth from the hilt as he stood to his full height, the anger and hatred fuelling his aching body once again. He effortlessly sliced through two of the large square structures in the room. Their blinking lights slowly dulled as sparks of white shot from them in protest to the gaping wounds he’d left them with. His hate still wasn’t spent, he swung round, slicing through two more smaller pillars of lights. Just like he’d sliced through the light in his life, he thought, suddenly resisting the urge to spill the contents of his stomach over the polished black floor. He realised, he hated… himself. 

His blood calmed and he slumped to the floor, head between his knees in another attempt to still the spinning of his vision. This raging anger wasn’t him. He had been led into the dark by Snoke, but instead of doing what he believed was right, he had allowed the Supreme Commander to control his thoughts, he had blindly stumbled about in the dark following the directions of Snokes’ twisted mind, believing the dark thoughts he instilled him with. I am a monster, he remembered saying with such conviction, but now he wasn’t so sure. Now… he couldn’t take back what he’d done. His breathing drew shallow, he struggled to get air through his throat as it tightened. He didn’t even know how to command an army, he was little but a foot soldier. He couldn’t go home, his mother wouldn’t forgive him like she had when he was young. He was stuck dangling here, the useless, limp puppet of the First Order.

Urgent beeping from one of the monitors broke his train of thought. He glanced up from between his knees at the flashing red on the blue screen. It was a personnel alert. Kylo mustered any remaining energy he contained and tried to stand. He couldn’t bring himself to his full height, but instead slumped forward, he fell towards the monitor catching himself on the hard bench beneath it. Beads of sweat dripped down the side of his face as he strained to read what the screen shone towards his still swirling vision.

Alert!:  
Fleet medical facilities at critical levels of occupation.  
Potential outbreak.  
Orders are to stay in your quarters. Remote medical droids will move through quarters one by one.

Symptoms as follows:  
Sweating  
Nausea  
Vomiting  
Vertigo (dizzy spells)  
Muscle fatigue  
Confusion  
Insomnia  
Bouts of rage  
Suicidal or homicidal thoughts

Report remotely to medical if you are experiencing any of these symptoms.  
STAY IN YOUR QUARTERS until the ship quarantine procedure is finalised.

Kylo knew by the sinking feeling in his stomach this was no space virus. It was the growing absence of Snokes’ influence leaving everyone to realise what they’d done, who they’d become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: chapter named after Carrie's book about addiction.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr if you'd like:  
> MoshmellowRaccoon


	3. Munich, 1921

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hidden Archer reference for those who are equally as much of a fan as I ;)
> 
> Also I feel I need to say, in no way do I condone or idolise the man, movement or speech that Hux's concluding remarks are based on (I included a copy of the original in the footnotes of this chapter). I have used it with real purpose in this, as my own way of continuing the commentary on war that was started in TLJ.
> 
> Thanks for the Kudos! hope you enjoy this massively huge chapter O.O it got away on me is an understatement.

Chapter 3- Munich, 1921

Armitage Hux lay still on his standard order bunk made to perfection. He was fully clothed in his black uniform, pressed and preened. His eyes were trained, unblinking, on the flat grey roof of his cramped room. The visions in his mind were much more vivid than the bleak place he was living now.

\------

Sunlight beamed through decorated stone windows, a blue tinge to the light from the floor-length drapes. They were thick and luxurious. The chair beneath his body was soft and supportive, the table sturdy, made of gleaming polished wood. All these luxuries didn’t matter to him compared to the beauty sitting before him. He found himself staring at the constellation of freckles splayed across her face, illuminated like gold flecks in the sunlight. A giggle to his left interrupted his concentration and he glanced over to see what managed to bring forward such an uplifting sound from his daughter. She grasped at a small carved x-wing. He had made it for her. It took hours and he still had splinters. He looked back at his wife, her deep eyes warm with pride as her face broke into a smile. He couldn’t stop himself reflecting the expression back at her, face overflowing with the pride he felt for his family, his life.

\---

An alert on his private holopad broke Hux from his conscious coma. He automatically rose, double checked his black uniform, wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead and looked the alert over. It was for him to come to the bridge immediately. He strode purposefully towards his door, ignoring the aching of his protesting muscles. The door slid open with a woosh to reveal the distant stars through the ship window, a canvas of black littered with white smudges. He froze as more memories came flooding back.

\---

He stared out the stone window at a storm rolling through. The clouds throwing a filter of grey over everything he saw. A certain bleakness of mood filled him. A crash followed by a scream came from the living room. The sounds of his daughter crying vibrating through his head like the brass bells of the nearby hall, he felt his body continue to tense. He walked into the living room and snapped at her to shut up. She went quiet and stared up at him from the floor confused causing a ball of regret to instantly form in his stomach. He didn’t know why he’d just said that… He felt his wife touch his shoulder empathetically. He shrugged it off and stalked out the front door towards the local bar.

As slowly as the stars appeared over the clearing horizon, he sank drinks, hunched over the bar. He had no idea what was going on. These last few months he felt like something had changed. The creeping feeling of discontent pressing harder on his every thought as the weeks passed. He had never wasted soo much time glaring at a clock face in his life as much as he had since this began. He stared out the window yet again, constellations shining down, their wispy tendrils of light seeming to reach down to grasp at him. They made him feel weightless, limbs buzzing with potential, but simultaneously tiny. He was nothing, a spec in the galaxy compared to the stars. His family preventing him chasing their compelling touch, from becoming something. He glanced away towards a table in the dark back corner, directly into a pair of piercing blue eyes. They drew him in and before he could even realise, he was in the corner, “hello” leaving his mouth.  
“I’ve been waiting for you.” Spoke the gnarled, thin pressed lips of a war-torn face. “I can tell, you want it. To be something. I can give that to you. Where you’re going, you can’t take this life.”  
“But…” He choked out.  
“You have a choice.” The lips pressed tighter together, awaiting a response. He felt the fog in his mind press on his mind just as tight. He was struggling to breathe as he tried to decipher his own thoughts. “Ok” He choked out.  
“Good” Purred the lips. “I will find you here again soon, when you are ready to meet your destiny.” He blinked, the lips and eyes were gone.

The fog swirled in his mind. He barely kept his footing as he stumbled out of the bar. He wasn’t sure where he was going, what he was doing. The cold air of the night did nothing to sharpen his focus. He barely recognised the detailed carvings on the door handle of his home. The pictures on the walls of the room looked foreign. He wandered through two more doorways, faced with a bed. A small body lay in the centre, rhythmically rising and falling with peaceful slumber. A larger body curled around it, dark hair splayed around its face like hackles raised on a dog. His mind flashed red at the primal recognition of threat. He reached for his belt where his standard issue mining blaster rested and fired twice before he could think. His eyes were drawn to the only reaction from the pair, tiny fingers slowly unclasping a small, wooden, hand carved x-wing.

\---

Hux sucked in one deep breath. He did not recognise the memories as his own, for a brief moment tried to deny them. He knew deep down that they were though, real and his. It seemed like those blue eyes hadn’t left his mind in a long, long time. That was until he saw them glassed over and empty for all but the reflection of the red throne room.

His now clear mind snapped into focus, and with it, his body into action. He stalked towards the bridge. He felt nothing but the clear razor focus of realisation. The years of manipulation, control… torture, all at the hands of those wielding the force. He never saw how deep it ran, what it made him do, what it took from him. It couldn’t keep continuing. Cycles of galaxy leadership, all run or enforced by those strong with the force. Like the rest of us can’t make decisions for ourselves. The wars between them as the factions struggle to wipe each other out. Hux wondered just how many innocent people had died Well… it’s about time for this to all end. The doors to the bridge wooshed open and Hux entered to commotion.

“Sir, the intel has come in!” reported someone from desk 9, his private communications team.  
“Prepare a brief, meet me in the conference room in 5 minutes.” Barked Hux.  
“That won’t be necessary.” Purred a dark voice from the shadowy corner near the storage bay. Kylo stepped out into the light. He was sick of Hux’s weak attempts at taking command where he was faltering and needed to regain his influence.  
“But, Supreme leader,” Protested Hux, “We need to ensure the intel is correct this time, lest there be any potentially lethal mistakes.” Hux’s eyes narrowed slightly, almost in a challenging manner.  
“Perhaps instead of arguing BEFORE we even know what about, we should listen to this intel of yours and decide if it’s even WORTH getting distressed about.” The menacing tone of Kylos voice put a shiver down the spine of anyone who was listening, but deep down, Kylo didn’t feel the standard berserker rage and excitement of impending battle. His outward expressions were an act. He just felt, clear. As if for the first time in his life he wasn’t driven by emotion, but instead by logic. He was glad Snokes influence no longer stoked the raging redness of his emotions. Perhaps he could manage this leadership business after all, he mused.

“The decoding is finished and the brief is ready Supreme Commander and General Hux.” Stated the comms worker. “Our informants are on Jakku, along with the remainder of the Resistance, although they aren’t entirely sure. They’re in an underground facility which is locked down pretty tight. They only got a brief glimpse outside as they came in to land.”

Jakku, what in the galaxy was she doing back there? Kylo thought she’d never return there. He remembered her feelings of hatred towards the sandy dunes from when touched minds because it had struck him as odd that a Jedi pupil would hold so much hatred. “Maybe we should try double checking their position before we open ourselves up to attack again. Monitor any and all hyperspace jumps in the area, look specifically for the Millennium Falcon, their X wing fleet and the larger command ship we saw earlier.” Kylo almost smiled as he spoke, realising not only would this allow them to confirm their intel and allow them to track them through any further lightspeed jumps, it would anger the general to see him acting so rationally. Kylos thoughts were seemingly confirmed as the generals face turned a colour mimicking his hair before he angrily spluttered out “We can’t. In your latest tantrum you managed to destroy the intricate circuitry that was our tracking systems, along with their memory banks. We are currently rerouting our saved tracking files to another destroyer in the fleet, but it will take a day to have everything back up online, since it needs to be done manually through system backups.” It was Kylos turn to change colour, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment briefly before realising a way he could turn this back on the General and finally make Hux’s failings more evident. “Well, I guess we just have to hope your very special undercover intel team is right then.” Kylo winked playfully at Hux before twirling to stalk out the bridge door, giving orders to ready the fleet for attack as he went.

\----

Rey was still catching her breath as she walked through the open hanger doors, making a beeline towards her room. She needed to clean up. Her loose weave outfit was uncomfortably wet with sweat. This of course meant her skin was powdered with a fine layer of orange sand. By force she hated sand. She tried to let the hatred slip through her mind lest she undo the mental calm she’d just managed to bring herself to by pushing herself to near collapse with her training. She’d been working on using the force more in her close combat, throwing and grabbing various weapons in a flurry of attack, dunes of sand spewing up sprays of rusty red with each impact.

She stumbled suddenly, tripping over something as she walked past an x wing. She regained her composure and spun wildly to see what had broken her concentration. “Ow…” Muttered a familiar voice. Poe rolled himself out from underneath the hull of the ship, face plastered with a confused look. His expression instantly lightened when he realised what had happened. He jumped up to face Rey, beaming smile breaking over his mouth. He had about as much control over it as the sun did rising over the horizon. Rey smiled back and Poe realised it warmed her dark eyes for the first time since he’d met her. A glint of orange caught his gaze and he realised she had a clump of sand stuck in her hair. “Bit dusty there?” he chuckled, resisting the urge every fibre of his body had to reach out, pluck it from its hiding place and gently tuck the loose brown locks behind her ear so he could see her face properly. His hand twitched in protest so he settled for speaking instead. “I… well.” He ran his shaking hand through his mussed dark hair, trying to calm the plethora of nerves that had suddenly overtaken him. “Yes?” her voice was soft and kind, ringing out like a clear glass bell. He gulped, time to get it over with. “I just wanted to tell you”

The perimeter siren sounded deafeningly throughout the hangar and almost instantaneously all the pilots of the resistance burst into the room ready to answer the alarms call. This was no longer the time or the place.

Leia rushed in fervently mere moments later, but with poise, instructing anyone she passed. When she reached Poe and Rey she let the true gravity of the situation show as fear in her shining brown eyes and deepening the creases of her face. “The First Order are here.”

Poe dove into action, shouting with a calm but commanding voice over the rabble. “Alright everyone. We’ve trained for this. We have our plan. Everyone to their positions, close the hangar doors. May the force be with you.” And with that short brief, the flurry of action resumed.

Poe followed the Alpha team of ground troops out of the hangar, glancing briefly over his shoulder to steal one more look at Rey and her shimmering halo of beauty before he had to face the enemy. I hope we pull through this, he thought to himself, force knows I need to tell her how I feel.  
\-------

As the First Order command shuttle once again descended towards an imminent battle, the Supreme Leader and General were both oddly calm and quiet. Hux was pondering the greatness of war. Two strategists meeting head to head to combat any number of variants in field and foe, winner takes all. The ingenuity required to win a war, regardless of size of the army, was something Hux always strove for. He saw war as a game of chess, a battle of wits between black and white, light vs. dark, good against evil. He always thought of himself as doing what was good and right for the galaxy, unlike the brooding Supreme Commander Kylo Ren who never dressed in any shade lighter than slightly darker black and ran around calling himself a monster, Hux inwardly smirked. However, Hux had been too focused on his own post-Snoke revelations about how he became of the Order to have noticed the changes in Kylo’s demeanour of late, including the lack of usual fiery excitement at impending battle.  
The shuttle jerked as it touched down and Kylo gave the order to begin deploying troops from the transports perched in various plateaus between the dunes surrounding them. It had been Hux’s idea to send the troop transports down first this time, lest there be another trap waiting. It was also Hux’s idea to bring half the fleet of Stormtroopers instead of just one destroyers worth. Both men scanned the surrounding rolling slopes of desert for any signs of the Resistance.  
“Where on Jakku are they?” Kylo asked, looking to Hux. “They’re meant to be right here, according to our intelligence.” Replied an equally perplexed Hux. Yet all they could see was sand and sky. “Does anyone have a visual on the enemy?” asked an increasingly worried looking Hux over the comms. “Negative Sir. We will continue our scout formation and repost back if we find anything.” Came the reply.  
Kylo glanced over to see beads of sweat forming on the Generals forehead. Well this was interesting. Perhaps the Generals intelligence wasn’t all it cracked up to be. Kylo had to work hard to stop the snort of laughter escaping his mouth at his own joke. Oh how he enjoyed wordplay.  
\----  
Poe was lying flush with the top half of a sand dune, peeking out over the tip at the masses of white armoured troops moving in formation along the path at the base of the other side of the dune. His timing had to be impeccable if this plan were to work. Too early and they wouldn’t take out as many troopers as they needed, too late and the troopers may start moving up the dunes, effectively rendering their plan useless. Poe watched as the main mass of the enemy squadron moved into view. He quickly motioned to his team to begin their assault, commando crawling to the top of the dune and steadying his blaster in his hand.  
Blaster fire began to hail down on the troops from Poes team who were dotted along the ridge of the sand dune to the troopers left. Some troops were struck down, others looked around in a panic, searching for the source of the shots. It didn’t take them long to spot Poe and his team and begin ascending their dune, firing towards them. Perfect, thought Poe.  
“Beta!” Yelled Poe into his handheld communicator as he moved back slightly, allowing the top of the dune to be natural cover, shielding him from enemy fire. He looked to his sides to see his team mimicking his actions. He was thankful he hadn’t lost a team member yet.  
He heard confused yelling and more blaster fire and dared peek ever so slightly over the top of the dune again. His Beta team were lining the top of the adjacent sand dune, easily picking off the troopers on the Alpha dune with volleys of blaster fire. The troopers were scrambling, trying their best to run down the Alpha dune and towards the Beta dune. Poe felt a rush of relief as he realised his plan was working. He knew without General Hux or Kylo Rens direct line of sight, they wouldn’t be able to effectively command. They had several teams set up under camoflague over several groups of dunes and could effectively do this all day, he mused. All the while, the heavily disguised and fortified Resistance base continued to elude the clutches of the First Order and leading them to think this was another premeditated trap, instead of a last ditch defence. Of course, if they did happen to find it, Rey was ready and waiting in the hanger, two more groups of Resistance fighters in the tunnels behind her ready to back her up at a moments notice.  
As soon as the enemy troops were a third of the way up the opposing dune, Poe barked “Alpha” into the comms and they swapped positions again, Alpha taking up the assault and Beta shielding themselves from fire.  
Kylo listened to the frantic yells over the comms as more and more shining white soldiers fell. He knew there was little he could do couped up in the command shuttle. They were effectively commanding blind. Even if he were to stay in the shuttle and try to get overhead visuals, the Resistance ground forces were a potential risk to the ships integrity. This was not his style. Out there, he had a real chance at making a difference, at deciphering this labyrinth of dunes, turning the tides of the battle and finding… Well, he honestly wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to find. Just that it couldn’t be found from in this stuffy black cockpit. 

He pressed the button to release the shuttle ramp, almost hoping Hux wouldn’t notice and he could sneak away. But the ever observant general did notice and began his verbal assault on Kylo immediately. “WHAT are you doing Supreme Leader? We discussed this at length in your induction briefing.” Kylo noticed though, that the usual look of focused concentration was absent from Hux’s demeanour. Instead, he almost looked pleased at Kylos urge to be on the field. “How do you expect to issue commands to your troops while wielding a lightsabre against your enemies?” He lazily probed. Perhaps the general hoped this meant any commands he gave troops wouldn’t be questioned while Kylo was on the field. For once, Kylo was ready to let Hux have the leeway “You give the commands.” Kylo stated as he marched down the lowered ramp towards the maze of dunes, out to find something... anything.

Staring at the black cloaked back of the Supreme Leader walking away from the command ship, the cogs of Hux’s tactical mind were whirring full speed. He realised this was the perfect opportunity to show the First Order exactly how willing Kylo Ren was to abandon their lives in favour of chasing after their enemies to sate his own pride. Perhaps, the attack should fail considered Hux. It would be the perfect way to have Kylo take the fall for the lack of intel on the part of Hux’s team of spies. Any moves Kylo made against his life then would be considered treacherous. Hux knew this at least assured his life for longer, but his mind continued to tease out the potential possibilities of the rest of the developing plan.

Kylo moved quickly and quietly through a few dunes until he stood, broad-shouldered, facing the large and misshapen sand dune he knew was the Resistance base. He could feel two faint but familiar force signatures from within that had lead him there. Leia and Rey. He stepped forward with one foot and bent his knees, dipping effortlessly into the battle stance. He had craved being on the field not too long ago. When he was stuck in the command shuttle next to Hux while his troops were slaughtered, it was all he could think of. He had been full of energy that day, crawling under his skin and begging him to be on the battlefield. It couldn’t be any more of a contrast to now. He couldn’t feel any of that eager energy, not a morsel of anger or rage. He ignited his sabre, hoping it would help him figure out exactly what his intentions were in being here. All it did was fill the air with a familiar hum, casting a red glow over his face.

A creaking sound emanated deep from within the dune, sand beginning to pour down one side as something opened from within. He was fascinated by the streams of red, orange and tan falling away from hulking metal doors. He squinted hard, trying to discern through the small opening who was there, preparing to face a potential flood of blaster fire. Too busy focusing, he didn’t hear quiet footsteps behind him, just the echo of blaster shots ringing back off the metal doors followed by burning from deep within his chest. He looked down confused to see two holed burnt through his tunic, the matching wounds through his lower ribcage, cauterised through and throughs. He held his breath as his mind instantly spun and he felt faint. He figured seeing two gaping holes right where his diaphragm should be would do that. A lesser man would have died of shock.

With his last shred of energy, he turned around to confront his attacker, staring straight past the barrel of a blaster into the eyes of General Hux. The deep gasp of Kylos shock tore open the wounds and blood rapidly began soaking his tunic, wet and warm against his clammy skin. He fell forward, mind going dark before he even hit the ground.

The giant metal doors of the resistance hangar finally opened, revealing the battle field to Rey. All she saw was a small figure bent over someone collapsed in the sand. She strained to get a closer look, desperately hoping it wasn’t anyone she knew. When she recognised their uniforms and realised it was Kylos right hand man bent over none other than Kylo himself, her heart clenched with pain. A guttural scream tore through her throat and she was firing her blaster towards Hux before she could make sense of what she was feeling. She wanted Hux to get away from him. She needed to see him. To know for sure it was Kylo. Hux returned fire quickly, several shots aimed perfectly towards her, and Rey had to dive behind a stack of heavy metal supply crates to avoid being hit. Her chest heaving, she peaked out from behind the makeshift barrier to see Hux trying to drag Kylo by an arm away from the mouth of the Resistance base. She couldn’t let him take Kylo away. She had to know. Desperately, she continued to fire towards Hux now that she was safely behind cover. She watched as the General crouched down, trying to avoid fire as he continued to try to drag Kylo. Numbness began to seep through her, she barely recognised her own finger pulling the blaster trigger over and over. She didn’t realise she was crying until she had to blink and wipe her face to see the General properly. He was giving up on trying to retrieve the body and was running as fast as he could towards the edge of another sand dune for cover.

Hux ran and ran, following a path committed to memory until he saw the black sheen of the command shuttle. He yelled and waved his arms as he ran towards it. He knew the pilot wouldn’t be able to hear him but he knew the deep burgundy blood on his hand and face, courtesy of Kylo, would draw their attention. The shuttle ramp descended quickly as Hux rounded the back of the ship and without waiting for it to lower fully, he jumped, caught it, pulled himself up and scrabbled onboard in a feigned show of desperation.

“What’s happening out there General?” asked a fearful looking navigator. “It’s a complete failure. The Supreme Leader ruined the attack when he ran in with his lightsabre blazing. He was shot twice through the chest.” Hux pretended to choke out his next words. “I tried to save him…” He looked down at his blood covered hands quietly, letting the moment hang quiet for dramatic effect before snapping back to attention and barking out orders. “We need to retreat! We must minimalize casualties. We’ve already lost too many men to Kylo Rens’ failings. If we lose this battle, we will not have a large enough force to maintain control of the systems.”

With these orders relayed throughout the commanders, transport ships full of the remaining stormtroopers quickly withdrew from the field, blaster fire absorbed by their deflector shields as they fled another failed attack. Hux felt a swell of pride in his chest knowing the First Order army was finally following his command. He had to use every ounce of self-control not to smile.

\-----

Hux stood alone on the small stage in the centre of the largest room in the star destroyer. Before him was a mess of white and black, only the occasional face of officers amongst the shielded faces of the stormtroopers. For the first time since Snoke was alive, the area was still and orderly as they waited for General Hux to address them. Hux much preferred this to the chaos of the hangar when they flew out for battles under Kylo Ren. Neither of the previous leaders of the First Order believed to be called Supreme Leader in Hux’s opinion. Both were truly disturbing individuals who corrupted and destroyed the lives of those around them with their bitter struggle against the opposing side of the force. It was time for Hux to end it all. Hux glanced briefly at the holopad in his hands before clasping it behind his back to accommodate a more formal stance. He began his address.

“Many of you may be wondering what is going on, or even, what has been going on since Snoke was found dead.” He was full of tingling energy, excitement. “Twice now, Kylo Ren has caused us to fail in battle, and in doing so, allowed the Resistance to continue to gain strength. Strength that had been painstakingly stolen from them over a number of missions commanded by myself. Kylo Ren refused to listen to my council. He let his pride and anger cloud his judgement and caused many of our men and women to be slaughtered by the enemy.” 

Hux couldn’t contain his energy any longer and began pacing along the small stage as he continued to speak, sheer confidence booming in his voice. “Many of you agree with me on this issue, which is why you’ll all be pleased to know that Kylo Ren is dead. He was fatally wounded in our assault on Jakku and I was unable to retrieve his body when I came under fire from the Resistance Jedi.” He spat out the last words as if they were brown globs of dirt on his tongue. He despised them as much as the Supreme Leaders. The ordered masses remained silent, but some began to shift in their stances as if a weight was taken from their shoulders. Hux knew this meant they felt the same as he did. “I believe we should not mourn his loss. Many of you had personally witnessed his unstable nature. The even less fortunate of you may have been subject to his instability like myself. He, like Snoke, has manipulated us through force or suggestion. Without their influence, I can tell most of you are lost and confused, trying to piece back together broken lives.” Many heads in the crowd began to nod as bodies stood strong. Hux had their full attention now. “As part of your training, I know you’re all well versed on the history of the galactic wars. You would each do well to remember that any time there has been a war, it has been with two opposing sides of the force at the helm. Every time every day ordinary individuals have been called in to war, it has been to answer to those wielding the force. Every time the smoke of battle has settled, it’s been the everyday people, just like you, me, your families, who have been the greatest casualties. They herd us like sheep to the slaughter, doing their bidding. Any time we questioned their authority, we were attacked and abused, even killed.” Murmurs were settling into the crowd now. He gripped the holopad behind his back like it were the most precious thing in the galaxy.

“I ask another question, what have they done for us? What have the Jedi, the Sith, the First Order done for us that we ourselves could not have done? What have the Force wielders actually given us?” A few shouts of agreement rang out over the restless army. This was his army to command now. “As long as the Force sensitives are alive, we can never be sure our thoughts, our will, is our own. I hope to lead you all in ending this age and beginning a new order. The order of men. One where we can reign free under our own governing without mental manipulation and physical assault by those born force sensitive.” More hollers of support rang out over the hangar.  
The room was buzzing with tangible energy. Hux knew this day would be written in the history books. He would be hailed the hero of man. 

He brought the holopad around in front of him and held it up for all to see the blue glowing beacon of hope for mankind. “On this device” he paused for dramatic effect. “Is information on every known force sensitive individual in the galaxy.” The room went quiet with anticipation. “With this information, kindly left to us by Snoke, tells us where the greatest densities of force sensitives are in the galaxy.” He lowered the holopad again and steeled himself for a moment. This was the first time in his life he didn’t have a backup plan. If he failed in these last words, it could be the last words he spoke. He had to choose them wisely.

“These areas are where we will move in first. We will comb through the planets, one by one. We will ask them to give up the force sensitives. If we fail to convince them, we will take them by force. It is our only choice.” Hux closed his eyes for a moment, awaiting his fate, for the army to decide if they would follow him, or strike him down as a traitor.

When the deafening blackness in his mind wasn’t interrupted by an attempt on his life a brilliant eruption of every colour of his passion exploded behind his eyes. He felt breathless as a true hope of a normal life, without manipulation, seeped deep into his bones. He let every tingle and flourish of passion colour his parting remark to the expanse of the monotone army before him. “For us there are only two possibilities: either we are in charge or we remain under the thumb of the force users. This latter must not occur; even if we seem small, insignificant, pawns in their prophecy, we are a force of our own. A well-organised group can conquer a strong enemy. We are capable of ending the ongoing cycle of the force. We will be victorious over the Force users.” The room echoed loud enough with cheering that Hux was sure it could be heard in space.

\---

“For us there are only two possibilities: either we remain German or we come under the thumb of the Jews. This latter must not occur; even if we are small, we are a force. A well-organized group can conquer a strong enemy. If you stick close together and keep bringing in new people, we will be victorious over the Jews” – Adolf Hitler, Nov 9th 1921.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr if you'd like:  
> MoshmellowRaccoon


	4. A Crime Without a Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took soo long! I've been struggling to sleep properly lately (thanks stress and anxiety!) and unable to manage most of my normal tasks let alone writing this. Anyhow, enjoy!
> 
> P.s. If anyone is willing to proof read for me, don't hesitate to contact me! I'm currently running proof-reader-less and scared of how this impacting the quality of my work.

The blood is everywhere… Force… It’s everywhere! She whimpers, pushing her hand down tighter on his wound in a futile effort to stop the gushes of blood cascading off him, pooling into the sand. 

He’s dying, and she knows it. She can feel him again, being soo close. But it’s different. She doesn’t think too much of it because she can feel him slipping away. “NO!” she screams stubbornly, tears pouring down her face. “You can’t go!” She swipes at her face, trying to remove the clear mucous and tears obstructing her view before she presses her forehead to his. She has to save him. She doesn’t know why, just that she must.

She closes her eyes and reaches towards the faint feeling of him in the swirling abbyss of the force. He feels like a pinpoint of ultraviolet light, simultaneously bright and dark, but also distant and growing further so. She pushes towards him, scrambling desperately to touch his presence fully again. For every inch she feels she reaches towards him, he slips just a bit further away. She screams a violent, throat tearing scream, tears flowing freely onto his pale face. “No... no… no… YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME ALONE AGAIN!” she yells straight in his face, desperately hoping it would rouse him. She still isn’t sure why... but she feels all her hopes vanishing as quickly as his presence.

Once again, and in sheer desperation, she tries to calm her thoughts, diving back into the swirling deep pool of the force. She locates the faint pulse of his presence and furrows her brow in concentration as she pushes towards it. Mentally crawling, inch by never ending inch towards him, pushing past her rapidly growing exhaustion with thoughts of all the hopes in the world she held. What if he’d come with her? What if he comes back to the light? What if he finally gives in to that goodness she feels in him? What if he calls off the war? With every moment she draws closer to his fading presence, she feels herself grow wearier, but lighter, as she casts aside her doubts and hatred towards him. Instead, she fills herself with feelings of hope and light and care towards him. She feels him nearer, and with one last colossal effort of will, she lunges towards his presence, pushing with herself, all her will and hope for him. The second her presence brushes the faint edge of his, sparks of colour shoot through her conscience. She is blinded by it for a short moment, floating briefly in the galaxy of the force, before her eyes refocus on his force signature. He’s still not conscious, but it’s not quite as dull, she notes. A fresh wave of hope fills her. She shoves that hope towards it as hard as she can, before leaning her aching body back and opening her eyes.

She is astonished to see beneath her very hand, the sinew and tissues of his insides rippling and moving in a grotesque bloody dance as they weave themselves back together. For a short moment she wonders if she is really seeing this, or if she is still somehow consumed in her meditation. The hole in his diaphragm closes entirely as she watches in wonder. A shuddering gasp erupts from deep within his chest as he starts breathing again, breaking her concentration, sheer exhaustion smacking her body hard. His lungs are heaving to make up for time without oxygen, aggravating the remaining surface and muscle wounds. They begin to pool with blood again and she notices they are no longer healing. 

Bewilderment fills her, and she stares at his unconscious face. What the stars had just happened… something warm and wet drips off him onto her lap, OH CRAP! HE’S STILL BLEEDING! Her panic returns and she reaches towards her comms device, only just realising what it had been repeating for the last few minutes. “Calling for Evac. Return to your designated ships!” Poes voice repeats out the small speaker. She jumps into action, grabbing Kylos arms and dragging him towards the nearby sand dune. She knows the Millennium Falcon is parked on the other side.

Every inch of her body screams with pain. She struggles to drag him, her chest heaving. She wishes she could give up, collapse and die next to him in a tomb of sand. A shiver ripples over her skin. Goodness she hates sand. She refuses to spend eternity touching it, and using that sheer hatred, she pushes herself onwards towards the crest of the dune.

Sweat and tears of exhaustion drip from her face as she pulls him that last inch up and over the top of the dune. The surface of the Millennium Falcon beams like a beacon of hope and she collapses, finally able to give in to exhaustion. Her eyes close, tears still streaming from her face and she hears shuffling and yelling of her name by familiar voices.

“Finn… Poe…” She barely mumbles out, her mouth rapidly drying out, her lips and face caking with sand as it sticks to any moisture it finds. The only thing keeping her conscious is her hand firmly wrapped around Kylos forearm. She must save him…

Her body is jostled as someone picks her up. A whimper escapes her lips as Kylos arm is pulled from her grasp. “Save him…” She weakly commands. “Why?” She hears Finn ask, hatred and accusation evident in his voice. The fire that is her will rises in her again and she manages to force her eyes open. Poe is holding her, looking down at her with confusion. “We need to save him. I felt him inside my head again. He was almost DEAD! I brought him back, but he’s still DYING!” She sobs, glaring straight into Poes eyes hoping he will understand.

Poe wondered what she meant by ‘inside her head’, but shook it off, thinking about the potential advantage for the Resistance that had just presented itself, “Actually…” Poe trails off, looking first towards Finn, then at the almost lifeless and bloody mess of Kylo Rens body, “He could be useful.”

“You’ve got to be KIDDING ME!” Finn yells across the dunes. “Well, he could have useful intel.” Poe stated, matter-of-factly. “Do you mind if I put you down a moment Rey?” Poe asked gently. She nodded quietly, pulling herself to sit as he placed her back down on the dune. She watched protectively as Poe looked over Kylos form. Finn paced back and forth, annoyance obvious by the hunch of his shoulders and his hands balling to fists by his side.

“Hmm…” Poe mumbled, reaching to his side to pull his comms device from his pocket. “Leia?” He spoke into it.

“Yes?” returned her ever elegant voice. “We have a situation here… It’s Kylo Ren. He’s unconscious and badly wounded.” Poe stood up and walked away from the small gathering. He needed this planning to be private.

“How badly?” came Leias’s reply. He couldn’t help but notice the edge of concern in her voice. “Nothing vital. Loosing a lot of blood. It will take a while to heal. I think he would be useful to us.”

“I agree.” She sounded relieved. Poe grew slightly suspicious, but sook it off. “Rey mentioned something about feeling him inside her head? Maybe she can get info from him.” He turned back around to see Rey had shuffled closer to Kylo and was holding desperately to his arm. She was still crying. His heart sank more, but he continued to retreat into his role as tactician to shut the feelings out. 

Leia’s voice helped him stay focused when she spoke again “That’s interesting. We should keep him separate from the main group of the Resistance. No one else needs to know he’s here. There’s that med bay outpost on the other side of the main base we’re heading towards. Drop him there. Put orders in for him to be kept in low levels of consciousness. We can’t risk him contacting the First Order with the Force. I will give Rey orders to remain on guard. She’s the only one who can match him in strength. Hopefully she can also get some information out of him while she’s there.”

“Roger.” Poe replied. He sighed, knowing he now had to convince Finn not to murder Kylo on the trip to the new base.

 

\----

Poe felt his eyes dart over the words of the ancient text in front of him but his mind soaked up none of what it saw. He groaned when he realised yet again he’d reread the same sentence and still didn’t understand it. Sometimes he came across passages in this particular book that rendered all his ability to understand useless and he would have to push through, reading each sentence a few times lest some hidden meaning jumped out at him until he finally found a passage that made sense. 

Tonight, he was not in the mood for searching. He gently lifted the edge of the books front cover to close it, weary of damaging it. Its rich wine-red colour and embossed gold lettering was what caught his eye when he had bartered it off a trader ages ago. For a long time that’s all it was to him, something pretty. Until he bothered to look deeper and uncovered it’s true meaning. Within it’s magnificent outer was stories of war. Of mere men achieving victory against all odds. This had fostered Poe’s interest enough to warrant pushing through its sometimes difficult prose. His eyes felt weary so he ran his fingers over the shining title of the book one last time, reading aloud “Hervarar saga ok Heiðrekts and the Tale of Ragnar’s sons.” Before he gently wrapped it in its soft piece of cloth covering and shuffling his tired body to his bed to ready for sleep. He hoped one day to find more of these books. He mused how they had proven useful in him in planning their defences and attacks given their sheer lack of numbers as he dressed himself ready for slumber and slipped underneath the thick blanket. He couldn’t attribute the tales fully to their latest ‘victory’ though, he frowned.

The niggling thoughts he’d had since he watched the First order ships rocket away from their sandy battlefield returned. His brow remained furrowed in frustration, realising yet again despite the comforts of his soft warm bed, sleep would allude him tonight.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how the latest skirmish had ended. So abruptly and chaotically despite them still having a significant chance at winning, not like the First Order at all. He really couldn’t put his finger on it, just that he had a weird feeling about the whole thing that wouldn’t leave him alone. He had been carefully commanding their defence when suddenly the stormtroopers began running back towards their transports. He called for his teams to stop firing and hide in the extensive tunnels running through the dunes. This was his contingency for protecting the base, in case the Orders plan was to fire upon them from above while resuming a ground attack. They were ready to push the stormtroopers single file through the maze of tunnels into the various trap points they had set out. Poe had remained outside of the tunnels, ready to lure the enemy troopers inside. He was hiding under his camouflage sheet so he could continue to watch their enemy until they were close enough to lure in, but to his amazement, their ships shot off the ground and disappeared into orbit as rapidly as they had appeared. This is what he couldn’t grasp. At the time he was confused. He commed the rest of the teams and he and Leia had agreed an evac to their nearby outpost was safest at this time. But now it made even less sense, because upon returning to the Falcon and readying for evac, Rey had appeared, dragging an unconscious and badly injured Supreme Leader Kylo Ren by his arms towards them. She was incomprehensible. Babbling something about him slipping away. 

Poe fought back the snarl forming on his lips. At the time he’d been too shocked to comprehend his own jealousy. He’d just shut down emotionally and ran through the logical and tactical motions of it all. He’d contacted Leia, who agreed keeping Ren as prisoner could be useful. But now he wished he’d killed him when he had the chance. Poe could tell from her irrational response to Rens’ injuries that Rey was far too invested in him and it stung Poe to consider her with anyone but himself. He was relieved, at least, that Leia had ordered Ren to be kept secret, hidden away in a smaller facility on the other side of their outpost planet with Rey guarding him, as she was the only one matched in his power. Thank stars he didn’t have to face her. The last few days Poe had been a mess of anger and disgust over it all. Over her apparent rejection of him. Couldn’t she tell how he felt?! She must have known… She had to. Poe rolled over, no longer able to feel comfortable with the feelings tumbling through his body. He buried his face in his pillow hoping it would all stop and he could sleep. All he wanted was sleep and for everything to make sense again… But it didn’t and it wouldn’t.

Poe rolled back over again, sadness creeping into his thoughts. He knew he’d been hard to handle these last few days and was glad Finn had stuck around despite Poes’ constant outbursts. Poe felt a small trickle of happiness warm his cold chest as he remembered Finn reaching out to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly, giving him a concerned but comforting smile when Poe had been staring glumly at his breakfast for an awkwardly long time. The small gesture had been Poes only comfort these last few days, which was just as confusing as everything else going on. Poe groaned as his mind returned to thinking about the mess of strategy and warfare that was consuming his life.

He sighed deeply, giving up on all hope for rest, before pulling his holopad out from under his pillow to resume planning, it’s blue glow illuminating his quarters. He hoped it would distract his thoughts enough he would eventually be able to pass out from sheer exhaustion.

He was flicking through their inventory list when a communication request dinged suddenly. “Who the stars else is up this late?” Poe muttered to himself before clicking on it. It was from Leia.

Poe,

Meet me in the garden shed.  
Now.

Leia

“What…” he mumbled, surprised by the ludicrousness of what he just read. Rolling himself out of his comfortable sheets and grabbing his thick jacket and pants. Why the hell would Leia want to meet in the garden shed? In the middle of the night? On a planet almost as cold as space? She was losing it, he thought as he pushed through the front door to the outpost and began trudging through ankle deep snow towards the small rocky outcrop on the other side of the clearing. The cold air already burnt his skin, but he was thankful, at least, that the several small moons were scattered luminously across the sky like an exaggerated painting of stars. 

He gently turned the icy handle and allowed the door to swing itself open. Leia stood in the middle of the room, her battle-hardened expression softened somewhat by the glow of the small lantern she was holding to light the otherwise pitch-black room.

“You got my message then. Good” her usually commanding demeanour replaced by a deep weariness in her voice. “Is everything ok?” Asked Poe. He wondered if some new and damning intel had arrived to make her sound so… ready to give up. He felt himself start to panic. The Resistance would be nothing if Leia gave up.

“Everything’s fine.” She said reassuringly, a warmth of affection creeping into her tone. “I just wanted to talk to you somewhere were no one would overhear. I have something important to discuss with you about the future of the Resistance.” Poes’ stomach kept turning in panic, what was she talking about?

“I am getting too old for this war” She sighed out, her shoulders slumping forward out of their usual formal placement. She sank to sit on the wooden chest, letting her head fall backwards slightly against the stony wall. “I think it’s time I stepped aside. This is much your war now as it is mine. I believe you have it in you to lead the Resistance to victory now, more than I can.”

WHAT? Poe internally screamed. This was not ok. He was not ready. Without Leia’s guidance he would revert to his loose cannon ways! “What if I made the wrong choice? What if I got too many killed again?” He asked, panicking aloud.

Her gaze met his again and she smiled that soft motherly all-knowing smile. “The fact that you are thinking that way now shows that you are ready. It’s been months since I’ve had to lecture you on costs and keeping your war tactics under control. You have grown past your recklessness and matured into something I knew you would one day be. Someone ready to care for and lead this group into a victory that will better the entire galaxy.”

He still wasn’t reassured. Doubt ate at his rationality and regurgitated more reasons why he wasn’t good enough. “What about the diplomatic side? I’m not good at all that formal stuff.” He scrunched his face in disgust. “Parties, fundraisers, speeches…” Leia laughed. The sound of her amusement at his disgust and fear pulled him back to rationality. Her voice remained light and wise, “Do you really think I enjoy that also? We do what we must do to ensure the best outcome for everyone in the galaxy. That’s the job description.” Poe blinked a few times, still not grasping the entire concept. Why was she offering this to him? Of all people.

Leia watched his face carefully for a few moments before closing her eyes and resting her head back against the wall, her voice returning to its weary tone. “Relax Poe, it’s not like I’ll force you to do this alone. I’m not going to fly off into the stars. I’ll still be here. I’m going to help guide you and my door will always be open to you. You also have your friends; Finn, Rose, Rey. I’m sure they’d all be willing to help you decide the best course of action in times ahead. They already do, don’t they?”

Something inside Poe clicked and with it came a fierce rush of determination. “Ok. I’ll do it.”

\-----

Rey felt the frustration threaten to consume her yet again. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes and pulling her knees to her chest with her free arm. “These books will be the end of me.” She mumbled, opening her eyes to glare at the Jedi texts strewn open across the polished cream coloured stone of the outpost med bay floor. He was desperately trying to figure out exactly what had happened in the sand dunes when she reached towards Kylo. The books lay there, open and taunting her, like they knew how she struggled to make sense of them. But so far she’d only found out it was called Force Healing. 

She had to learn more though. She had to make sense of their teachings so she could fix her lightsabre, heal Kylo properly so he would thank her and turn to the light and she would save the flipping day like she was meant to! “Isn’t that what the Jedi would have wanted?!” She yelled at the books. They didn’t respond. She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. She couldn’t let her frustration and anger get the better of her. It’s not what would help, despite how justified she was in feeling it. She felt her face turn fierce, glaring once again at the books. How come they were what stood in her way, she wondered. Right up until she’d sought guidance from them, she had been able to take anything the force threw at her in her stride. She tried to push aside the feelings of defeat and looked briefly over at Kylos slumbering form. He looked peaceful for once. She felt hope well up inside her again and reminded herself exactly why she needed to keep trying. “I have to give them all a chance at a better life… Him a chance.” She whispered, before turning back to the books.

Kylo opened his eyes slowly, his vision blurry. Bright lights burned through the haze and he blinked. He was suddenly filled with searing pain and he looked down to where it was coming from. Several bandages surrounded his torso, tendrils of blood ever so slowly soaking along them from just below his ribcage. Panic became like acid, eating away at his stomach. He frantically looked around the still too bright room, his breathing starting to come quicker and shallower with every passing second. A shadowy figure was hunched on what he realised was the floor. He wasn’t sure who or what it was. The part of him wary of trusting others kicked in and instead of seeking help from the dark figure, he tried to slow his breathing and closed his eyes to appear normal. He didn’t need to draw attention to his vulnerability. This would do, at least until he could figure out where he was and what the stars was going on! Despite the still raging pain of his wound, he managed to focus his thoughts enough to reach out tentatively with the force. Almost immediately he was met with a familiar, sickly-sweet warmth. “Rey…” He murmured, unable to muster the breath to say it any louder and descending into a fit of coughing.

Between his gasps for air he heard shuffling. The scent of rain on a grassy field wafted teasingly past him before he felt the instant explosion of their force connection blossom through his mind like a supernova as her hand touched his arm gently. The connection raced through his thoughts, all consuming, touching every last crevice of his mind with her presence then settled peacefully when it was content it has touched everything. It felt deeper than it ever had before. He knew through it that she meant him no harm. Instead she beamed comfort and safety. Images of sunshine on his face played out behind his still closed eyes, warm and comforting, and the smell of rain on soil and grass had grown strong enough that it willed him to breathe deeper, soaking in the delightful sensory experience that replaced his pain. Only when noticing it’s absence did he realise breathing so deep should have brought him pain as it did before. He opened his eyes quizzically to view his wounds and saw Reys other hand hovering a hairs distance away from the bandaged mess. Confused, he looked up to her face only to find her eyes closed and brow furrowed in concentration. He wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing, or trying to do, in his state of disarray. He did know he was glad to see her though, and that her brow was furrowed for a reason other than fierce anger towards him. It added to the comfort he felt and for the first time since he was a child, he allowed his head to fall slowly to rest against his pillow trusting that someone was there watching over him. A yawn escaped his lips and he almost giggled at how nice it felt not to have to stifle it for formalities sake. He felt like his body was humming, content, he allowed his eyelids to slowly droop shut. The last thing he saw before he fell into a deep and restful sleep was the familiar scrawl on old parchment.

Jedi books… He thought to himself, inconsequentially, before his dreams consumed his consciousness.

\-----

Hushed chatter filled the command hall of the outpost base. Everyone was rumouring why Leia had called a meeting. Poe stood awkwardly at the front of the packed room, eyes from the summoned group frequently darting to and fro him. They probably couldn’t believe how ridiculous he looked, he smiled quietly to himself. His formal attire was a conglomerate of borrowed pieces from several members of the Resistance. Not a single piece matched or fitted correctly. He felt like a clown. Oh, and stars, it was itchy! He gulped deeply, trying to suppress his urge to pull at his too tight collar that felt like it was suffocating him. He scanned the room quickly, his eyes eventually settling on Finn and Rose taking their seats towards the back of the room. Finn eventually caught his gaze and his face shone with a full force smile. Poe couldn’t help but return the smile, his chest welling with pride.

The room hushed suddenly. Poe broke eye contact with Finn to find the cause of the disruption. Leia and Rey were standing in the doorway, opposite the room from him. They were both dressed formally, like himself. Leia looking ever the leader in her deep navy dress, formal cut and sharp edges showed she meant business. Her face echoed this testament as she eyed around the room, shoulders back, hands by her sides. Rey was dressed in a soft green flowing dress that started in a high tight collar, like his own, and stopped just before the floor. He watched her fidget and pull at the collar, looking frustrated and couldn’t help but enjoy that she also felt equally as out of place in their attire. He wasn’t so angry at her right now, he guessed, before absentmindedly wondering who was watching Ren.

Leias’ voice spoke gently, but commandingly “I have called todays meeting to announce my succession as leader of the Resistance.” The room broke out in muttering, people looked about wildly, scared. A brief flash of annoyance passed over Leia before she continued, louder but just as gentle as before, “Poe Dameron will take my place effective immediately. I have enj…” Her speech was cut short as she instantly turned pale and glassy eyed.

Poe instinctively dove into action, pushing himself across the room towards Leia and Rey. When he finally parted the sea of people gasping and muttering about them, he saw Rey and Leia looking like they were struck down suddenly by an intense fever. Both were spaced out, clammy and Rey also dripping with sweat. He placed a hand on each of their shoulders, gently shaking them, “REY? LEIA?” neither responded. He felt his usual panic rise again, his eyes darting about the room looking for something or someone to help. 

Finn reassuringly moved through the crowd to his side. Poe let his hands drop and stepped slightly back, hoping some space and air would help them both recover. He felt something brush at his hand and looked down. The back of Finns hand was gently nudging against his. Calmness washed over Poe like a splash of cool water to the face “Call med bay, get them something to drink!” He commanded. 

People began moving about, no longer consumed with gawking. As two people left, dragging a still disturbed Rey with them, one of the comms team hurried through the door, face washed white with fear as they pushed through the crowd. Leias’ hand suddenly clawed at his shirt front as two members of the crowd were trying to convince her to go to the med bay. “Somethings wrong!” She growled low in her throat, eyes wild with emotion. The comms girl finally reached them, gasping for air. “There’s something you all need to see!” She choked out before shoving a holopad towards them. Poe hesitated, unsure of his place, before taking it. Colour was returning to Leia’s face and she swatted away the concerned bystanders, “what is it?” she asked, deep sadness evident in her voice. Poe opened the holoclip and was filled with instant regret at what he saw.

“It’s a…” He choked out, struggling with an urge to spill the contents of his stomach as he watched the horror play out before him. Swarms of stormtroopers descending on cities, killing. A blurry and rushed image of a communication between General Hux and fellow First Order operatives. He rewound the vision and paused on this for a moment, only managing to make out a few words.

Force sensitives… dangerous… liability… must be dealt with accordingly… peace will reign free finally… War will end…  
Signed,  
Supreme Leader Armitage Hux.

“I think it’s a genocide.” Was all Poe could muster to say. He was devoid of emotion, entirely unsure how he should react. Leia closed her eyes for a moment, deep in a thought that obviously pained her. “There’s someone I need to see…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: chapter title is Winston Churchills' description of Genocide in 1941 before the term "Genocide" was coined in 1944.
> 
> Sorry about how messy it might seem, still getting the hang of this writing thing again and really feeling the lack of a proof reader. Hopefully chapter 5 wont take too long to update. Chapter 6 is mostly written already also, so shouldn't take too long after 5.
> 
> Hope you're all having a good start to your year! Thanks for those of you supporting this with kudos!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: MoshmellowRaccoon


	5. Twice the Pride, Double the Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Insert Imperial March music here-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for my massive wait times!  
> I've been off in the labs discovering new species ^.^  
> But also struggled really hard to find the right tone for a particular character in this chapter. I always wanted to portray the character perfectly since I first wrote my plot outline after seeing TLJ. He actually has the most character building notes of the lot of them in my plotline, but one of the shortest roles haha.
> 
> I've also reworked the first chapter and some of the second. I plan on finishing the second and doing the third also. It wont change the plot at all. Just some aesthetic and ease of reading improvements as I was very much still getting the hang of writing again when I started this.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!  
> Thanks again for reading!

Poe’s moods had only been worse since the ceremony. He’d been thrown into tactical planning, information gathering and had been inundated with requests from all over the galaxy to meet with potential allies. He felt like he was running on nothing, but the weight of the galaxy rested on his shoulders. He barely slept or ate and when he did, it was usually because Finn brought food to the command room for him or confiscated all his books and holo pad, sitting with him in his room talking until he finally passed out from exhaustion.

Leia had been increasingly absent from the command room. Poe knew that was the agreement, but he couldn’t help but feel even more abandoned. With the revelations of the First Orders movements, he thought she’d at least stick around. He felt like he was flying blindfolded through an asteroid field, no idea what to do and nothing or no one to guide him.

Brown oily locks obscured his view, his eyes stinging with a mix of exhaustion and the strain of staring at screens for hours on end. He let his head fall into his hand, his neck suddenly no longer able to support the weight of it. Shaking fingers of his free hand reached towards the bridge of his nose, massaging it gently in a futile bid to reduce the throbbing tension behind his eyes. He wondered if anyone would say anything if he curled up and fell asleep on the hard desk of the command room. If anyone even noticed. A longing emptiness clawed at his stomach. His usual passion and fire gone. What remained was a husk of his former self, shoved and flailing along its path through the ongoing war.

In the past battles, it’d been easy to keep going, to find the resilience, to pick himself back up. Reasons to keep fighting surrounded him back then, shining beacons of hope at a future without war, friends to protect. Now he wasn’t sure there ever would be a time without war. And those he cared for most, they weren’t around now when he needed them more than anything else in the galaxy. What made him think they’d be around when they didn’t need each other to survive? Poe shook his head, desperately willing the dark thoughts to leave as his eyes pricked with tears.

The slightest noise of metal against metal caught Poes’ attention. Every hair on his neck and arms stood straight, alert. It seemed like an eternity, his heart pounding in his ears before he heard the door to the command room quietly close. Poe spun rapidly, launching himself off his chair as he prepared to defend himself. A look of utter surprise met Poes’ gaze as he almost collided with Finn, knocking the bowl of hot soup he was bringing Poe into Finns chest.

Finn yelped, unconsciously tearing at his jacket and undershirt to relieve the sharp pain needling his skin. Poe watched him struggle with the wet fabric momentarily before the blank fog of panic lifted from his mind. Oh hell, he’s burnt! He thought, diving into action. Grabbing and steading a now jacketless Finn, he carefully but quickly peeled away the wet section of his undershirt from his torso. Once he was sure he wouldn’t rip any damaged skin away with it, he pulled the entire shirt upwards, gesturing with a nod of his head for Finn to take it off completely.

Poe quickly assessed the damage to his friends’ skin, looking protectively for any sign of blistering or peeling on the exposed expanse of Finns torso. Finn quietly watched Poe as relief spread over his body. A small shudder rippled across primed muscles, half from his skin exposed to the cold air and half because of the intense interest Poe was investing in him right now. The hot stinging of the burn had quickly abated, it's place in his focus consumed with a desperate need to act on long pent up frustrations.

“Poe. What the Force man? I am starting to get over this skittish, angry behaviour and basically having to ensure you don’t starve or die of exhaustion. What is going on? Are you ON something?!” Finn grabbed Poes’ shoulders, pulling him up to meet his gaze and ensure he had his attention. He was sick of Poe being too distracted to hold a proper conversation.

Poe met Finns gaze in silent contemplation for a moment before his eyes darted down, towards the floor “No…” he muttered out, ashamed, “I’m just over it all… I thought this would be soo different. I thought I’d be good at this and if I wasn’t, my friends would help me… But Leia’s nowhere to be found and Rey… Rey is off with him.” He spat the last word, his eyes darted back to meet Finns, full of anger and edged with tears of deep sadness.

Finn was stunned for a moment by Poe’s display of raw emotion. He quickly pondered his friends’ words considering how best to help him before sudden fury set in as he realised Poe hadn’t even considered all he’d been doing for him. Finn choked, the anger felt exactly like the lightsabre had when it sliced through him, but the pain radiated through his heart to see the man he cared soo dearly for not even realise he was there and trying his best to be supportive. Finn knew Poe had a thing for Rey. He’d seen it in Poes’ eyes several times when he caught him staring across the room at her. He'd watched him change into the moody mess he was now after she dragged that gaping (literally) arsehole over that sand dune and demanded they save him.

Finn's fury continued to simmer, threatening to explode. He was sick of being overlooked. This was it. He no longer cared if things got awkward or worse between them. He was done with playing nice and being the supportive friend-zoned idiot to be used. Most of all, he was sick of Poe being soo oblivious to his own worth.

Finn felt his mouth open, before he could get a handle on his self-control, he started talking and couldn't stop himself. "Poe. Seriously. Just because one person doesn’t see how you feel about them and doesn’t see what an awesome person you would be to be with, doesn’t mean no one sees it. It’s her loss. It’s their loss! Now pull your head out of your angsty-arse and start taking care of yourself again because I need you! I can’t do this alone. I can’t save the day alone...” Finn felt like time slowed down as he fiercely pushed his lips against Poes’. They were rough, but sweet. Everything Finn had dreamt fervently of since the day he first laid eyes on Dameron, his shining eyes boreing straight into Finns mind. He strained to convey every infinitesimal detail of his longing for Poe into one singular touch of their lips. If this didn’t show him how much he cared nothing would.

Panic started to cloud his minds as Poe stayed frozen and unyielding. Scrunching his eyes shut to hide the tears threatening to overflow at the impending rejection, Finn pulled away and turned to leave, bending to grab his soaked clothing on his way to the door. He knew this was a risk he’d willingly taken. Now he had to deal with the feeling of his heart shattering as he walked away from the man he loved, who apparently didn’t even realise and then didn’t even care.

“Finn…” a quiet voice called out. He froze, his hand on the wall next to the doorway. Finn knew if he moved this would be the final moment he could live in plausible deniability. If he moved he would have his once and for all answer and nothing could change it, so he stayed still, silently begging for this moment to extend into eternity, desperate to drown himself in never ending hope rather than face what he knew was coming. A rough but gentle hand tentatively rested on his shoulder. “Finn… look at me.”

 

\---

 

Rey stood menacingly over Kylos’ unconscious form. This was it. She knew exactly what she must do. She couldn’t let this go on any longer. Her hand slowly reached towards the small blue screen at his bedside and tapped a few times. She knew exactly where to press to get what she wanted, she’d watched the med bay personnel do it before whenever they needed to rouse him enough to check he was still responsive. You know, just in case she ever needed to. She let out the breath she didn't even realise she was holding when no alarms or warnings sounded. They wouldn’t be back to check his sedation for another day or so, now all she had to do was wait.

Her feet itched with excitement, forcing her to pace the room, continuously glancing back at him for any signs he was waking. It proved a difficult task in split-concentration as the med bay floor was still littered with open Jedi texts, lightsabre parts and her personal belongings. It quickly proved too difficult for her impatient brain, as she looked towards his still form, she tripped over a book, yelping in surprise and falling face first into a pile of her clothes. As a muffled groan escaped her she felt a barely tangible feeling of his amusement wash over her. “He’s awake!” she squeaked, scrambling to stand and rushing to his bedside.

Dark hair was splayed about his face, his eyes still shut, but his fingers had begun twitching and his ever-permanent scowl was replaced with a tiny curling of his lips. He was smiling. Rey knew, disappointingly, that he was still asleep but that he’d felt her fall through their connection and was reacting to it. She sighed, summoning a chair from across the room she prepared to sit and wait longer than she’d hoped to.

Straddling the chair in reverse, she rested her head on the back of the chair and continued to watch him, noting the increase in frequency of his twitching. She felt a wave of his curiosity wash over her. “Oh… You’re in the med bay.” She said aloud, reaching to touch his hand to help convey her answer.

Despite their force bond reopening, it was largely different than it had been before. Proximity and physical contact was the only way she seemed to be able to directly contact him like they had been able to before. For the most part when they didn’t touch, her mind was her own and uninvaded, other than small snippets of emotions she’d feel from his unconscious form. When he’d appeared unannounced to her while she was on Ahch-To, she had secretly enjoyed their connection but longed for her privacy again. Now her privacy seemed lonely and consuming.

The all too familiar feeling of failure edged her thoughts and before long she was forced to face it head on. She was stuck in this room watching over someone half in the grave that she was supposed to help put there, but hadn’t been able to. There was still no progress to be made on deciphering the Jedi texts and fixing her sabre and for the life of her she still couldn’t figure out how to control this new force related healing she’d discovered so she could interrogate Kylo and be of actual use. She was beginning to feel jealous of Finn and her new friends Poe and Rose. They at least were out there making a difference to this whole war! Poe had even manage to rise to command! Rey huffed, then quickly chastised herself for feeling such feelings. Poe definitely deserved his new title and she shouldn’t be blaming him for her shortcomings. “It’s not the Jedi way…” she muttered out loud, followed by an unconscious eye-roll.

Her face instantly contorted with anger. What even is the Jedi way? She didn’t know. How could she know. Luke refused to teach her. She couldn’t find out on her own. Instead she was left with these fascinatingly beautiful diagrams in books teasing her with a future she was slowly coming to terms that she would never be able to achieve. “The last Jedi is dead”, she sighed out loud, and despite the frustrations of Lukes’ inadequate teachings, she found herself missing him yet again. At least while he was alive she still had a sense of direction.

She didn’t realise she was still holding Kylos’s hand until she felt him ask through the bond; Why?

Why what? She spluttered out through the bond, caught off guard. It was the first semblance of a word she’d heard from him since Snoke was still alive.

Why are you mourning the Jedi? He responded, no accusation in his tone, just curiosity.

She didn’t know what to say at first, so she just let herself run through the feelings past events had bestowed on her. Confusion and fear of her rising powers, the sense of belonging and understanding that came with finding her friends, the feeling of excitement at the opportunity to be part of something like the Jedi and then the disappointment of finding herself stuck, no ability to progress or be a part of something bigger.

Oh. He responded wearily. She felt him growing less responsive as he slipped back into deeper sleep. His twitching slowed and for a small moment she allowed herself to enjoy the peaceful look washing over his face. Realisation suddenly dawned on her, she’d just missed an opportunity to get information! She dropped his hand and removed herself from the chair, feeling disgusted in herself as she’d once again let her own feelings get in the way of saving her friends. Resuming pacing, she once again lay in wait for a chance.

 

\---

 

Kylo sat bolt upright, his chest heaving. The rush of adrenaline that woke him set his skin alight with waves of tingling energy. He almost couldn’t feel the sting and warm wetness of his injuries reopening with his sudden movements. Someone was here.

His eyes darted around the almost pitch-black room. A slumped figure snoring softly in the corner caught his attention. He squinted, attempting to make the features out better. The familiar proud nose and chin of Reys’ face shone in the light blue glow of the med bay holoscreens as she slept. His eyes glanced around the room again. He barely focused on the familiar silhouettes in the small window of the door to the room, probably guards posted there. He’d seen the figures frequently as he dozed in and out of sleep.

“Over here.” Spoke a deep, commanding but somehow light and playful voice. Kylo barely resisted the urge to vomit as adrenaline sucker punched him in the gut. He scrambled to look in the direction the voice came from.

Staring him straight in the eyes was someone he’d never seen before, but who looked incredibly familiar despite the blue glow surrounding him, as if Kylo was looking into a distorted reflection. His hair was long and wavy, like Kylos’, but was a few shades lighter, an almost golden brown. They shared a similarly strong nose and jawline and even a scar, almost identical but milder than Kylos’ ran from his forehead to his cheekbone. “Yes well, you always do like to do it more extreme and dramatically that I did…” The man said, absentmindedly tracing his own scar before revealing a charming and slightly lopsided grin.

“Who…” Kylo had an idea, but needed to know for sure, “Who are you?” The man continued smiling, although his eyes grew deeper with sadness “I suppose you wouldn’t know would you, your master controlled your mind so well. It’s been impossible for me to stop by and see how my darling grandson was doing.” Kylo froze, disbelief flooding his mind.

“But you’re…”  
“Dead?” Anakin smirked, amusement flashing in his eyes once again. Anakins’ hand rose up and connected sharply with Kylos’ face, the resulting sound of skin slapping against skin echoing off the walls of the dark room. Rey stirred slightly in her corner, muttering slightly before resuming her deep sleep.

“What?!” Kylo barked, the shocked and wounded sound evident in his voice. He touched his face where Anakins’ hand had connected with his face and was surprised it didn’t hurt. “For being an idiot.” He said, voice full of understanding and a hint of disappointment. “Why?!” Kylo was even more confused than before. Had his grandfather really manifested in the force just to slap him? “Because I wish someone had done it to me.” Anakin sighed, the disappointment from before now the only tone to Anakins words.

His face scrunched into a scowl, he tilted his head down in thought, fiddling with his hands before looking back up at Kylo in a menacing glare. “You really think I wanted to be a monster? To hurt those that loved me and treated me as family? I lost everything I wanted Ben. They promise you everything to lure you in and before you know it they’ve convinced you to destroy what you once cared for because it’s the only way they can keep controlling you…” His face and tone softened again “But then you know all about that, don’t you?”

They both sat in quiet contemplation for a moment as Kylo remembered how he’d suffered in the hands of both the Jedi and Snoke. “I know…” Kylo eventually muttered out, defeat evident in his tone. Kylo let his shoulders fall forwards and he sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “But I don’t know what to do now?” He looked pleadingly into his grandfathers eyes, “I thought I knew what I wanted, who I wanted to be. Until I was weak, I couldn’t kill her. I started listening to my instincts more and realised something. But its too late… I’ve already… I did things wrong. I can’t change that.” Kylo had never felt this lost in his life.

Anakin smiled comfortingly, a soft, knowing look dawning on his face. “Ben, you are not weak. To follow your gut, your instincts and forge your own path between the two sides, against the will of those controlling you. That’s true strength. It is the path you need to follow. Neither the Jedi nor the Sith had it right. There is just as much strength in anger and emotion as there is in rationality. But you know this! Why are you asking for guidance from an old man like me when you feel it already?” Anakin grinned his wolfish grin again. Kylo couldn’t help but smile back at him, a deep mournful howling of emotion began filling his body. “I wish you were still here…” in an instant Kylo couldn’t control himself anymore. Tears began flooding from his eyes and deep chest wrenching sobs overtook him as his mind melted into a puddle of ‘could been’s’. It was like a locked cage of emotion had finally been opened. Every ounce of pain at being tortured and manipulated, suffering at the hands of others, eons of regret and misguided hatred finally began leaving his body. Anakin remained, quietly sitting with him to be a comforting presence as the emotions rolled through their course.

Every repressed feeling Kylo ever held spilled forth from his body. He found himself instinctually trying to reign them in again, to shove them back into the little corner of his mind he never dared vists. Anakin gently rested his hand on Kylos shoulder, "it's ok." And that's all it took for Kylos defences to crumble again, emotion continuing to pour from his body in renewed fervour. Eventually Kylo felt sadness give way to a flood of relief and a new wave of truer admiration for his grandfather.

He rubbed gently at his puffy eyes, removing the last of the tears they shed. “You know your mother is one to admire also. Where do you think you get your strength of will from?” Anakin gave Kylo a sideways cheeky glance “Not just your father that’s for sure.” He winked playfully. Kylo laughed for a moment until he began coughing, choking on thethroat crushing remnants of emotions that had gripped him tightly not long ago. Pain coursed through him from his disturbed wounds. As the coughing fit abated, Kylo felt the pain replaced by a slow radiating warmth deep within. Kylo knew from a distant memory that this was happiness. He was glad he’d finally met his grandfather, even if he was far different to how he believed. He also felt pride at Anakin comparing him to his mother, even if they weren’t on good terms now. “Well you did almost shoot her.” Anakin laughed for a moment, a carefree and infectious sound, before returning to his almost ever-present look of gentle wisdom. “She does love you though. She wont ever stop, even when you do make it hard for her.”

Kylo let that statement go unanswered as he pondered the possibilities of how it could be true. No matter the logical reasoning his brain gave him that she couldn’t possibly love him, deep down he knew it was as much reality as the tiny, barely tangible sliver of a connection he felt between his and his mothers’ minds. He remembered that brief moment of relief and pride she’d felt when he couldn’t pull the trigger, before she was sent flying into space. Anger welled up inside him again as he realised he’d allowed that to happen to the only person who had loved him unconditionally his entire existence.

Reys’ warm toned form danced through his memories in protest of his thoughts about love, along with it a new scope of understanding of her actions. She too cared for him unconditionally, and he too had hurt her. “I wont let them get hurt again.” Kylo stated simply, knowing Anakin could already feel what he felt. Anakin scoffed lightly, “You can’t protect them, besides I don’t think you have to worry about hurting her. She seems to have come off pretty well so far.” He gestured to Kylos’ scar. “as for her friends though…” His face returned to a sombre and contemplative expression, “I’ve always found that even those truly fearless in the face of danger are often so because they fight to protect those they couldn’t stand to see hurt.” Kylo looked confused for a moment, Anakin patiently continued “You can only protect them from yourself.” Kylo was once again left to silently contemplate his feelings, and he agreed with his grandfather. They sat side by side for what felt like an eternity staring into the empty darkness of the room, Kylo simply enjoying the company of someone who understood him.

“You know,” Anakin said quietly, an affectionate warmth in his voice as he smiled softly at Kylo, “They always said I’d bring balance to the galaxy.” He pondered, looking over to Reys’ still slumbering form. “I think maybe you two will do a much better job of it than I did.” Anakins’ sharp but comforting gaze met Kylos’ again, staring deep into Kylos’ mind as he slowly faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -throws cliffhangers and tension around like it's no one's business-  
> -swoons over Anakin-
> 
> Title is a quote from Episode III, Count Dooku.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr if you'd like: MoshmellowRaccoon


	6. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not intended to be part of the fic story line, but some fun extended scenes from last chapter ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I ended up giving in -waves white flag- and let my mind run with what would have happened after two scenes from chapter five. Some ideas help from my friend AJ King (comedian). Partially inspired by on of my favourite literary quotes: 'I cannot sleep for dreaming; I cannot dream but I wake and walk about the house as though I'd find you coming through some door.' - Arthur Miller's The Crucible.
> 
> Caution: pure smut, never actually intended to be part of the plotline. You can skip if you want.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> Please feel free to bookmark or kudos if you're enjoying! It literally makes my day :)

“Finn… look at me.” Poe gripped Finns shoulder tighter. He’d been caught off guard by the kiss but by the feeling of his heart beating deafeningly against his ribcage and the tingling of his lips left him deeply confused. “Finn I never… I mean I didn’t think… argh…” Poes’ free hand reached up to comb through his matted locks as he tried to process what this all meant.

Finn didn’t move or speak for several moments, his hand gripping the doorway with an increasingly crushing grip. With each second that passed he felt more certain of rejection, embarrassed and desperation to hide himself from Poe. The only thing keeping him here was Poes’ grip on his shoulder.

“Finn… I’m sorry I didn’t realise.” Was all Poes’ weary and confused mind could muster as he slowly dropped his hand from his friends shoulder. Finn didn’t even look back, he swiftly walked through the door and disappeared down the hallway leaving Poe alone with his thoughts.

Frustration and exhaustion overtook Poe immediately, a primal growl escaped his lips as he slammed his fist into the place on the wall Finns hand rested moments ago. Pain shot down his arm, sinking him instantly to the floor where he curled into a ball, inspecting his newly split and bleeding knuckles until tears obscured his view. He had caused his last and truest friend to abandon him. This rejection he felt cutting much deeper than Leia or Rey. It was almost like part of him had walked with Finn out that door, all because he was tired and confused and had no idea what happened for a moment.

The throbbing emptiness and self-hatred rising deep within threatened to overtake his thoughts again. In an attempt to keep self-destruction at bay, Poe closed his tear-filled eyes, focusing only on breathing slowly in and out. He carefully selected a few positive memories of Finn and began recalling them, focusing on the smaller details, in hopes of planning an apology. Brightly coloured memories each brought new meaning. When they first met and Poe knew straight away they would be close, Finns’ smile, Finn wearing the jacket and radiating happiness… Poe felt pride and happiness looking back at his friend, but also something more… The way he felt like his world and all his problems disappeared when Finn would grip his shoulder or brush past him in a room full of people.

A slow realisation dawned on Poe. He knew what he had to do.

Fierce desperation suddenly filled his body. Clawing at the wall, he pulled himself off the ground and dove out the command room door, taking off running down the hallway. He realised he wasn’t quite sure where he was going. For all the time Finn had spent caring for Poe and in Poes’ quarters recently, he hadn’t actually seen where Finns new quarters were since they moved. He chastised himself yet again as he came to a sudden halt at a dead end in the compound dormitory hallway. He couldn’t believe he’d been utterly blind to Finn and how he felt, how they both felt. Now he had nothing but hope that he would be able to get to Finn and explain before it was too late. He just had to find him first!

The cream walls and tiles of the hallway mocked Poe, several doors potentially concealing the man he sought. He struggled to breathe, his muscles screaming in protest, exhaustion and vigorous running getting the better of him. But he couldn’t give up. “Finn…” At first he could barely get the word out, but a dizzying surge of post-exercise energy hit him like a slap in the face and he found the strength to yell out “FINN!” His voice breaking with emotion.

A door down the end of the hallway slowly creaked open. Poe seized his opportunity, once again running towards it. He came to a screeching halt just in time to see Finns puffy, tear stained face peek out from behind the disgustingly shaded hunk of wood. “What?” Finn’s dejected voice mumbled as he self-consciously looked away from Poes’ bright gaze.

Poe knew it was now or never. He reached through the small opening of the doorway to cup Finn’s face in his hand, his own face following quickly behind to place a tell-all kiss on Finn’s perfect lips.

Finn shuffled slightly before pushing against Poes’ lips with more force than before. Finns’ unbraced door suddenly swung open, the hand bracing Poe against it flailing wildly at the loss of stability, and he fell through the doorway against Finns’ still unclothed torso. His arms flexed as they wrapped around Poe, steadying him against his muscular chest. A yelp of surprise from Poe broke their kiss followed by a small groan as Poe melted into the warmth of Finns’ embrace. His aching mind and body hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Finn stared intently in his eyes searching for any sign of regret or confusion. Poe stared back, unflinching, as contentment slowly settled throughout every fibre of his being.

When Finn was satisfied he’d seen no doubt in Poes’ expression, he shifted Poes’ rapidly relaxing frame into one arm, afraid to let him go and have this moment end. His newly freed hand reached for the open door to slowly push it shut. He didn’t want to wake his neighbours any more than Poes’ screaming in the hallway may have just done.

Finn returned to staring at Poe a moment more. He couldn’t believe who was pressed against him. He refused to break eye contact, desperately hoping his eyes conveyed the plethora of emotions he felt coursing through his veins. At first he hadn’t even realised how he felt about Poe. It wasn’t until Rose had kissed him and all he could fathom was disappointment that it hadn’t been Poes’ lips against his. This of course had been followed by guilt, but Finn reminded himself now was not the time for guilt. She was better now and she knew how he felt.  
Now was the time to act. They were in the middle of a war. Who even knows if they’ll make it through the next battle, or ever see each other again.

“You’re a-door-able.” Poe chuckled out, Finn grinned down at him, his merriment was contagious, pulling him from his more morbid thoughts. He couldn’t stop himself from brushing the unruly locks from Poes’ face. Finn brought his mouth closer to Poes, “Take you a while to think of that one?” He muttered, enjoying the tingles of his lips grazing Poes’ as he spoke.

Poe shuddered in his arms, setting loose a wave of deeply repressed emotions Finn could no longer control. His mouth met Poes’ properly this time, a needy and bruising kiss. Poes’ lips opened against his as he let out a deep moan. Strong arms moved quickly about Poe, turning him as they broke the kiss and pinning him to the nearby wall. As Poes’ erection met the pressure of the wall, he inhaled abruptly in pleasure. He realised it had been a long time since he’d had release.

Finns’ erection pressed urgently, through his pants, against the cleft of Poes’ perfect arse. He began to grind himself slowly but purposefully against Poe as he nipped and kissed a trail from his friends shoulder, up his neck to suck and nibble at his earlobe. Poe made a delightful and animalistic gurgling moan as he continued to lose control of himself, pushing back to grind himself in time against Finns’ erection. 

Finn couldn’t bare to be kept from Poes’ skin any longer. He grabbed roughly at the hem of Poes’ long-sleeved undershirt, pulling it up and off him in a feat of joint coordination. Recognition flashed briefly in Finns mind, it was the shirt he’d thrown at Poe two nights ago after finding him shirtless, shivering and staring blankly at nothing in his room. Finn shook his head slightly, he wouldn’t ever let Poe get into such a state again as long as he lived. “I promise.” He whispered against the crook of Poes neck, his warm breath tickling Poe, causing him to wiggle in Finns grasp. Itching to escape the ticklish tingle, Poe moved too hard to one side. Losing his balance, he reflexively grabbed at Finns’ hand. Instead of steadying himself, Poe managed to yank Finn from his braced position, causing them to both crash to the floor in a half-naked heap of limbs.

The pressure of Finn on Poe caused his aching need to sing pleasure throughout his body, but only for a moment before resuming it's thought consuming throbbing. Poe began desperately moaning “I need you.” Over and over as the overwhelming urge to feel him touch a particular place returned with fervour. Poe wasn’t quite sure what was about to happen, but couldn’t maintain coherent thought long enough to care for anything more than stopping this consuming need.

More than happy to oblige, Finn lifted himself off Poe long enough for them to both yank down their pants, Finn balancing on one arm as he spat into his hand and stroked himself briefly. Poe wasn’t sure why he did it, but enjoyed the view until he couldn’t handle the empty feeling of Finn not touching him and reached up, pulling him back down on him.

Kisses were all they needed for a moment as they both purely enjoyed the feeling of each others tongues and lips. Soon it was too hard for them both to ignore the wet, throbbing head of Finns’ penis nestled perfectly at Poes’ entrance. Poe arched his back and resumed begging for Finns contact, attempting to move down enough to take Finn inside him. Finn hesitated for a second, then pushed himself inside, a simultaneous groan of pleasure escaping their lips. 

Poe was still desperate to fill the emptiness that burnt with need inside him. He ground himself down against Finns shaft enthusiastically, as Finn rocked into him. Each thrust in unison bringing Finn closer to the edge. Knowing he wouldn’t last much longer, he shifted himself slightly, trapping Poes erection between their bellies in hope that it might ease the urgent bucking of his hips so they could enjoy the moment a while longer. “Oh Finn!” Poe moaned in response, clenching tight against Finns member and doubling his efforts, trying to drive Finn deeper inside himself with each rocking of their hips.

Finns thrusts suddenly became sporadic as his climax hit him out of nowhere, his wild and irregular movements slamming his tip into the deepest part of Poe, sending him flying over the edge seconds behind him. Finns vision blurred with bright spots as he coated Poes’ insides with his seed, his vision clearing in time to watch Poes’ face contort as he covered their bellies in return.

Finn felt too blissfully complete to care about the mess they’d just made of each other. He rolled off Poe, scooping the beautiful man against his side as he went. “You know, we didn’t even make it to the bed.” Finn chuckled. Poe smiled, his eyelids falling closed, face still plastered with the look of post-orgasmic bliss. It didn’t take long for soft snoring to leave Poes’ perfect mouth, leaving Finn to ponder how much time he would have saved on helping Poe get to sleep if he’d just kissed him sooner.

 

\---

 

Rey was exhausted. She watched wearily across the room as Kylo tossed and turned, whimpering and occasionally muttering random words. Rubbing her stinging eyes, Rey reached down and pulled her blanket up over her shoulders. He’d woken her abruptly from sleep when she heard his desperate sounds. She’d checked on his holopad and he was evidently running a fever. From all the restless nights of fever dreaming back on Jakku she knew he was having a rough time.

He whimpered again, curling into a ball. “Anakin...” he whispered. 

Huh? Thought Rey, who among the stars is Anakin?

“ANAKIN! COME BACK!” he yelled, his face contorting in pain. Small teardrops rolled down his cheeks, catching the light of the moons from the window and reflecting it like tiny liquid jewels on his skin. Rey gasped, drawn from her bed and across the room by the beautiful sight of his glistening skin. At least she might be able to help him, she thought.

As she got closer, she saw his huge frame shivering. She tentatively reached out to push sweat drenched locks from his face, revealing the marred mess of his right cheekbone. Regret flooded her mind and without thinking, she leaned in to gently kiss his forehead, lips placed directly over the scar.

She felt him go still and realised what she’d done, quickly pulling herself back from him, searching for any sign that he’d woken. His eyes were still firmly sealed, dark dewy lashes splayed across still wet cheekbones, but his face had softened from its previously pained look. He sighed, suddenly gathering an armful of loose sheets to himself and nuzzling into them. “My Rey of sunshine…” he muttered in an almost singsong voice.

It was her turn to freeze. She watched quietly for any sign that what she just heard was real. His face slowly contorted in pain again, his muttering and thrashing resuming its previous fervour.

Rey realised she was slowly missing another golden opportunity to figure out Kylos’ intentions. Perhaps his fever dreams could provide some insight into his plans or shed some light on his weaknesses. 

Unsure what she was about to witness, Rey braced herself mentally for the worst possibility. Who knows what the depths of Kylo Rens’ mind holds? She pondered, slowly pressing her fingertips to the inside of his exposed wrist. As she pushed forwards tentatively into his mind.

The connection was fuzzy, she wasn’t used to his dreaming she realised. Closing her eyes, she attempted to focus but could only make out two dark figures, one standing, one kneeling. Neither moved much but small snippets of words passed through the connection.

Kylo… now… yes Rey…  
She felt her cheeks flush with the confirmation that she was in his thoughts.

The kneeling figure slowly came into focus, Kylo was bowing from a kneeling position, head down, dark waves of hair obscuring his eyes and dark pink lips pressed tight together. He looked like he might be uncomfortable but she wasn’t sure, his eyes were usually the most expressive part of him.

Who was he kneeling for? As she waited for the standing figure to come into focus she heard him mutter ‘Yes master.’ It must be Snoke! Her body filled at rage with the thought of facing him again. She knew he was dead, he hadn’t even hurt her that much, but she still held no desire to ever have to stare into those cold eyes again. She felt pitty follow her rage. Kylo spent much longer than her in his torturous grips, and this was his dream. The poor man was probably haunted by memories of Snoke more than she ever would be.

She began tracing comforting circles down the soft pale skin of his forearm, hoping if anything, it would provide some comfort to him as he faced his nightmares.

As if turning a dial to focus the image, the standing person came into view. She recognised the figures face as her own, garbed in dark grey and black battle robes. Rey recoiled in shock, nearly severing the connection as all but one fingertip remained touching his arm.

Dream Rey smiled, a dark and predatory look in her eyes. ‘Put this on.’ Dream Rey commanded Dream Kylo as she shoved a handful of leather and metal in his direction. ‘Yes Master.’ He replied in a sheepish tone, ‘Does this mean I’ll be forgiven?’ He reached around behind his neck, fastening the plain black collar before ensuring the metal hoop was positioned correctly over his adams apple. Dream Rey quickly fastened a chain to the collar loop.

‘You’ll be forgiven when I say so!’ Sapped dream Rey. ‘Now, you can make it up to me by taking off my underwear and eating me out.’ A smirk reflexively broke out across dream Kylos face. Dream Rey yanked on the chain, jostling dream Kylo forward slightly, ‘How DARE you! Now I have to punish you more.’ She looked around the room for ideas, her eyes settling on a familiar stack of items in the corner of the dream room. Dream Rey turned back to look over Kylo, her commanding voice even more forceful as it echoed in the small space “Take off my underwear slave!”

Dream Kylo slowly moved his head until he was eye level with dream Reys’ crotch. He reached tentatively towards her hips, his shaking fingers hooking into the fabric of her lower garments.

Rey opened her eyes as she felt Kylos’ arm trembling in her hand, just like his hands trembled in his dream. Her face flushed, seeing him react soo strongly to subconscious thoughts of her. Pure shock and a little bit of embarrassed curiosity drove her to close her eyes again and keep watching.

Dream Kylo had managed to remove most of her undergarments, he was gradually easing down her underwear when dream Rey spoke again. “Hold out your hands, palms up.” Dream Kylo obediently obliged, not wishing to anger his master and worsen his punishment. Dream Reys’ fingers twitched with refined force use that made awake Rey envious of her control. Two stacks of books, the Jedi texts, floated across the room, carried by the force, to rest perfectly in Kylos’ open palms. “Now, you must bring pleasure to me while holding these books up to ensure you don’t get too consumed by your work. If you get too distracted and let them touch the ground, I will whip you.” Dream Rey gestured to the short black leather bound implement resting against the wall. 

Awake Rey had never seen one before and had no idea what it meant was in store if dream Kylo failed.

Dream Kylo eagerly set into his work, pressing his face into the brown locked folds of dream Rey. She shuddered in response, burying her hands into his wavy hair and kneading handfuls of it each time she moaned. Dream Kylo managed to remain perfectly poised, books not even threatening to topple as he licked, kissed, hummed, sucked and tongued at dream Reys folds.

Awake Rey was impressed by his level of control over himself and his dedication to pleasing, well… her. She shuddered, each moment coming more to terms with witnessing Kylo Ren fantasising over her.

“Oh Force, I’m close!” Dream Rey moaned, her demeanour of control slowly slipping from her tone, “You need to stop.” She ordered. Dream Kylo remained pressed between her legs, his eyes flashing with a look of tempting rebelliousness. “I said stop, slave!” She yelled, but all strength of her command was lost when she threw her head back and moaned. Dream Kylos’ eyes shone with excitement, before he closed them in concentration. Using the force, he kept the two stacks of Jedi texts levitating in place as he moved his hands to tightly grip dream Reys’ thighs, holding her in place against his mouth.

Dream Rey began to shake, her voice keening “Oh stars, Kylo! Right there!” She began to tremble.

CRASH!  
Dream Reys’ orgasm hit her soo hard she lost all feeling in her legs, causing her to collapse on top of dream Kylo. A light and pure laugh danced throughout the room, amused at the reaction he got from her as he pulled her into an embrace, still splayed out over the floor. Dream Rey looked up at him through glazed over eyes. He smiled down at her and spoke in the most heartwarming tone awake Rey had ever heard, “Am I forgiven yet, master?”

The dream ended, abruptly throwing Reys mind into darkness. She blinked a few times as she withdrew herself from his mind, slowly refocusing on the room surrounding her. Awake Kylo looked up at her from the med bay, a half-asleep smile curling up the edges of his dark pink lips. “Hello Rey. I just had the best dream…”

Rey felt her cheeks flame red with bashfulness as she desperately hoped Kylo didn’t realise she was still holding his arm.


End file.
